I’m just a typical girl you’ll see in every high school, a girl not everyone would know, there’s nothing too special in me. I don’t sing, I don’t dance nor do I draw but one thing I always do is write. I write to simply express my feelings, my thoughts or anything that bothers my mind. I write because I have no one to talk to. I simply live by myself my parents are away. I don’t like socializing as well because I don’t like being attach to people because I have this perspective that all will leave you sometime in the future maybe by choice or by will of God. There are a lot of people who will promise that they’ll stay but sometimes, I mean often promises are broken. I always arrive late in school and leave early so that there won’t come a time that I would have to fake smiles just to please people. But when I have to stay late in school because of projects I simply work as a student what I mean is that after I’m done with the project I’ll simple leave without goodbyes or any smile to leave behind. I don’t like being nice to people nor being rude. I just want everything to be this way. No one knows my name, No one even remembers me when I’m not around. Isn’t it right to just be nobody. Because sometimes I feel like the popularity is the thing that ruins a person just like every artist in the world who lived an innocent life but because of their passion they become the person who they said they wouldn’t be. But I know popularity as well is the dream of everyone to be appreciated by all and to be known by every person in the world. I just can’t imagine myself in the spot light. But while everything is this way maybe I just have to be completely me. Me as nobody, I don’t think you even have to know my name, I think my story would be enough to tell you who I am. I believe that someone’s name wouldn’t define a person’s identity. Do You?
As usual all my days start with the ring of my alarm clock. Do you know that feeling when you just want to stop time and sleep a little longer? Where in you won’t have to work harder just because of the time you used for extra sleeping? But we’re in reality so I have to wake up. After taking a bath and all the grooming stuff, I walk in my closet to wear my usual outfit a colored pants and a plain shirt. For today I go with a red pants , a white shirt and sneakers to complete my mainstream look. After all of that I grabbed a cup of coffee to wake me up inside. Again do you know that feeling like you’ve done everything but still feel completely sleepy? Well I always feel that way. After a cup of coffee I’m good to go. A long the street since I walk to school. I saw this bunch of girls bullying someone. Sometimes I think bullies pick people who they know couldn’t fight, well I find that pretty lame. The girls I’m talking about suddenly look at me they might have noticed my conclusion they walk up straight to me and said “What are you looking at. Keep those eyes away”. The other one said “Get a life”. “You’re asking me to get a life? Why don’t you get one? Instead of picking someone who you know can’t fight. If you don’t want to be looked at then don’t do something eye catching” I don’t know what happened and where in the hell did I get the courage to say those words. But this bunch of girls turned completely blank after I said those words. After saying those words I didn’t even thought about I just left like nothing happened. But when I was in school already the students were looking at me and I completely felt awkward. I know I’m late but is it a crime? After a few minutes of wondering someone stood in front of me and said “What you did was completely cool” I didn’t know what to say so guess what I smiled for the first time. After that another one went towards me and said something that made me pause for a while he said “ We didn’t know you’re a bitch” after a few seconds I manage to say “Bitch?” He answered “There’s no innocent person who can say those words. ” But I said “It was just a comment of mine. ” He answered “Whatever you call that , That was cool and Yah! Welcome to the group. You silent little devil”
After that incident I never had to be alone again. They welcomed me as if we’ve known each other for so long. At first it was weird being with them because everything was new. They say vulgar words in every line they speak. They drink a lot, smoke a lot and party a lot. I never thought I would like to be with this people. They’re not mean well they’re nice and as they always say they’re living life to the fullest. Well Yes they’ve changed me I know this is for the better. Now I learned to love socializing. They’ve taught me to party , to be loud and to dress like every day is a fashion show. They say being loud makes people believe you’re happy and it makes hiding feelings more natural. They made me wore short shorts, tight outfits and to match every outfit red lipstick. As one of them would always say be nicer than how you look. Fashion is a mask of someone’s identity. At first I was too conscious of what I’m wearing but after a while it became comfortable. I learned to drink , I guess it’s true with vices you forget things for a while but of course after being drunk it’s all there again. Another thing they made me face, They made me feel what love is. There is this guy in the group who never made me feel uncomfortable starting when I was just new in the group. He always tell me “ just be open for changes , Change is for the better“ He made me happy. He made me forget who I am before. He renewed me and I thank him for that. Do you know that feeling like you don’t have to worry about anything because you feel secured. No one ever made me feel this way only him. Every time the group hang out, he sits beside me and made me feel like it’s just the two of us. He sings songs that make me shiver. He smiles at me as if I was very special. He never said he loves me but one member of the group told me love is to be felt sometimes it doesn’t need to be spoken. I don’t want to assume anything that’s why for now I’m enjoying what we have may it be special or may it be friendship. Sometimes he just invites me to their house and we stay in their rooftop and just watch the stars , this may seem like a cliché but I think the happening may be a cliché but the experience is never like the rest. We just lie down and talk about life. I never thought a person like him would be deep and would talk sincere. He would usually ask “Why did you allow yourself to be nobody , when your someone” I don’t know if an answer would fit his question but I simply said “Because I thought nobody was good enough”. He said “Why do you settle for something enough when there’s more ” . “ Because I’m afraid of what more brings along” I answered. “Then why did you choose to change” He asked. “As you said Change is for the better” I answered. “ Do you like yourself now?” He asked. “What? That’s a weird a question! But to answer that well yes, you made me feel more confident. ” I answered. “If ever you didn’t meet me. Would you stay the same?” He asked. “I don’t know. Maybe. Why? ” I said. “I know you since before, before you were someone. I find you mysterious and I still find you that way” He said. “Is mysterious okay?” I asked “ Yes. It’s perfect.” He answered. He looked at my eyes and he made me feel like I was the most beautiful but then he cracked it with the words “What if I hurt you?” . “You wouldn’t do that. Would You?” I said. “Of course I won’t. Forget about it”. He laughed, but I know it was fake. He changed the topic then I just go with his flow. After the long conversation he gave me a ride home , smiled and said goodbye. I wasn’t able to sleep that night because of his question “What if I hurt you?” why would he ask that if he didn’t mean anything.
