How do I feel today?
Pent up.
What's pent up?
My thoughts, my emotions, my energy, my reactions to the outside world, my education, my career, or maybe just my life in general. It's all too overwhelming. Stuck. Solid. Frozen. Maybe this unusually hot spring will turn to a hotter summer that will thaw me and let me move. Maybe the summer will marinate me and allow that maturity and certainty of who I want to be soak up through my pores.
I realize that there is a lot that I need to let go of and a lot that I need to let in. I've been letting bad habits control my life. My lifestyle alone is a war zone. One bad blow after another is the cause of my exhaustion. It's hard doing all of this alone.
I have a lot of what-ifs in my life. I have no support system, but what if I did? What could I accomplish then? Who would I be? If I had that help, could I actually do everything I want to do in life? I don't know.
So many things come to mind when I think of how I'm pent up. I know what I need to do, but what is the first step? Maybe this is my acknowledgment. This is my first step towards the rest of my life. To give myself a better chance.
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Release
Random"Something, or someone, told me to put it down today. To lay it all out on paper. Maybe it will do some good. Days are filled with a million thoughts, a million ideas, and a million new stories to tell. Maybe I have a story to tell? Or to tell as I'...