𝑳𝑨 𝑳𝑨 𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 kuroo x reader oneshot

𝒍𝒂 𝒍𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

a/n: pls swipe left on the pic of kuroo to listen to the acoustic version of la la lost you as you read this :)) it hits diff trust me (lyrics are in italics) also, perspective changes twice!! don't be confused by it :)) also i might come back and edit this bc i feel like it could b 100% better and more detailed <33 tysm for reading

1st person pov: 

While I'm on Sunset, are you on the subway?

While I drive, are you gettin' on the L-train?

Every single day all I can think of is you. How you used to ruffle my hair, tease me, and agitate me until I'd have to forcefully make you stop. 

How we are now 2,798 miles apart.

That day when we were having our study date as per usual going over our chemistry notes for the AP Chem exam, and you told me you got accepted into NYU although living in Japan, I had no words. I was so unbelievably proud of you, Kuroo. Tears began to well up in my eyes, although I didn't know if they were for the right intentions. As they began to swirl in my eyes, the library lights glaring upon them, I didn't know if I was mad and disappointed that you had beaten me to telling you that I myself had gotten into UCLA, if I was proud of you- your hard work and dedication paying off as you would study your ass off every night, or if it was because I already knew that I'd have to say goodbye to you.

Despite that, I excitedly told you that I'd gotten into UCLA. We were both going to major in Biochemistry- that's how we met after all. At least we were in the same country, I thought.

You with your bright eyes, your goofy smile, and your apple cheeks, lit up, and you enveloped me in a hug to where I thought that nothing could split us apart. I wallowed in your affection and your supportive words as we laid in each other's arms.

Fast-forward to when our graduation was fast-approaching, you slowly began to ponder about what we'd do with us. You would bring up different questions everyday to which I would shrug and avoid. I thought that we could last through long-distance, that we would be absolutely fine, but maybe I did what I did because I didn't want my mind to wander to what could happen.

I took you out on a picnic, surrounded by the pink, flowery auras of the sakura blossoms blooming around us. I made you your favorite food, grilled salted mackerel pike, since I knew you'd love that I made it especially for you with my own two hands. Eventually after we had finished snacking on our food, we laid together enjoying the scenery, basking in the sun's rays that made its way through the rosy petals. Me with my head on your lap as you leaned into your arms behind you. I stared at you with tender eyes, wondering what you were thinking about as you stared at the sky, deep in thought. I thought it was a nice kind of quiet. A calm, serene kind of quiet.

"I think we should break up."

My mind blacks out whenever I remember that to you, it was a 'build-up courage', try to break the awkward silence kind of quiet- juxtaposing my own.

Until I could compose my erratic thoughts and my pounding heart, I stared at you and demanded why. Why should we put a stop to our healthy, thriving relationship when we had put so much love and effort into it?

You said it was because of the distance, that it would just strain the relationship and be too difficult to maintain, that college would take a beating out of us anyway. I tried to convince you. I tried to tell you that true "love" breaks through those barriers. You only shook your head. You said that you weren't cutting us off because you didn't love me anymore, but instead that you wanted our lives to be easier when we would move to a whole new atmosphere. You said you didn't want me to dwell on you and how you were doing. You didn't want to be a burden.