Bad Romance {ONE SHOT}

Bad Romance

One second he was there, the next he wasn't. The guard rubbed his eyes thinking he was hallucinating. He was sure he saw a man walk towards the window, they were on the 7th floor where did the man go. He checked with security and they cleared the area saying there was no one there at all. And so he left the matter alone. Maybe the long hours of work were taking a toll on him, who knows.

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Tony Stark was the young genius who started working at SHIELD at the age of 17 when his parents were killed by HYDRA. His intelligence coupled with the skills of years of training made him the deadliest spy by the age of 30 with a record that could freeze someone's blood. As it was, his second identity as a spy was to remain hidden as he was also the CEO of Stark Industries. He wasn't called on missions till the situation was absolutely dire.

His spy persona was rather different from the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist persona. He was cold and calculating. Never one to waste words, and certainly not waste fucks over anything too. Some suspected he had lost the ability to feel amy emotion at all. He spoke to literally no one unless needed. At least according to them. Multiple betrayals as Tony had left that little child caged somewhere in him forever. He was Simply Iron man here. The man with an impenetrable armour both physical and metaphorical.

This time it was one of government's high commands which was suspected to be a HYDRA agent. It was an easy get in, get info get out mission but being so closely related to the government they needed someone skilled. So Tony it was, his partner was Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter soldier. Death's reaper with the Merchant of death. God bless anyone who messes with them.

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He had seriously jumped out the window from the 7th floor of a building wearing tactical gear that he called a leather jumpsuit because literally it was just a 'black onsie' according to him. "Got the goods Director Fury, Where's my transport" Tony asked the Director through the earpiece. The earpiece was Stark tech. Make with the new feature to mute the other party so that they shut up, a personal additional on hid part. Truly. It was going to cost him so much he didn't suspect a thing. Fury had eyes on them so for extra cover in case of ambush.

"I'm here Tony, on the bike at your 10". Bucky stood there in black leather jacket, a black shirt and black jeans with combat boots. "Ok got ya, I'm on my way Fury" he said again. He switched off his earpiece then and so did Bucky. At the HQ, Director Fury, Captain Marvel, Captain America, Colonel Rhodes, Agent hill and Agent Coulson along with a few juniors were all listening intently, it was a high staking mission. They discussed further plans about the data and what it may hold and where to move from there. They were suddenly interrupted by the voice of one very amused winter soldier, which was as rare as pigs flying. "Since when did you start wearing catsuits doll" followed by him giggling. Long dead silence followed, like someone asked every single one of them for both their kidneys, "Holy shit is the world ending!?" one of the juniors said horrified. "Language Mr parker" Steve said. "I think winter is going to get a good kick to his face any minute now" said Carol still confused. The next shocker shocked the living shocks out of them, The Tony Stark, literally honest to Odin and his beard laughed, snaked his arms around Bucky's neck and said "not liking what you see handsome?"

"oh mY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T FORWARD THAT MESSAGE TO 10 PEOPLE", said Peter who clearly seemed distressed to be joking. "Peter don't believe those bullshit a-"LANGUAGE"- ss stuff please, Tony's earpiece is off, Barnes accidentally muted us instead of switching it off ". Steve questions" there is no such feature in our earpieces, what are you talking about?" to which Rhodes replied " He made those especially for him and some of his active partners because, and i quote, "sometimes they do be doing some annoying shit" ". Steve was tired of saying language already, Carol snorted and Fury seemed very close to popping a nerve. Coulson and Hill simply sighed and they juniors were snickering in the background.

They missed Bucky's reply in the chatter but they were brought back again by the sound of engine roaring. "shall we" said bucky still very amused. "Yes please, coffee first tho" Tony replied holding Bucky by his waist. "yes sir" Bucky replied smirking. Every single person in the HQ hall was a statue at this point. Holding their breathes, shocked to the next Tuesday and absolutely petrified at the display of..... Affection? It was too alien on the two. Maybe they were partners that's what changed this between the two? Right? Having each other's backs on so many missions, having had traumatic pasts gave them something to bond, this was just a very weird friendship. Right!?

The silence was broken with Bucky saying "The suit seriously makes me wanna take you home and make ya walk funny for the next week" a sublte Brooklyn accent drawling as he speaks, they were all startled when someone in the back literally fainted. "Why don't give me incentives to ditch the debrief darling" replied Tony. In the HQ meeting room people have started coming back to their senses, Fury asked the juniors to leave and is thinking how did he out of everyone didn't know about this. Steve was thinking what the heck is he witnessing, this was hid best friend flirting with another deadly guy like he has been doing this for ages. Carol is thinking how she is going to have a long talk with these two. Coulson and Hill were neutral all but amused by the tension in the room. Rhodey didn't seem bothered at all. Like at all. Tony tells him everything, come on he is his platypus. He lived at the tower how didn't no one realise that?

Bucky speaks again " Oh so incentives might work huh honey? Wanna bet i can get us to my apartment, make a mess outta ya and still reach the meeting in time?" he said speeding the bike a little. "My my Mr barnes, you're gonna make all the dames blush", "I only do it for my fella", "SOMEONE TELL HIM HIS EARPIECE IS ON JESUS CHRIST I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT" Fury screams. Steve is going a little red now and carol is holding back her laughter. Rhodes is laughing. Very hard, like i can't breathe hard.

Tony speaks "Tell you what lets drop this first how about that huh, why limit our fun time?" Tony speaks in low tones, "why is that Mr stark, afraid of going to the medical checks with my kinda marks?" , "SOMEONE GET ME EARBUDS, SOMEONE MAKE THIS STOP OH GOD", Fury screams again. He was so getting an Aneurysm from this. Coulson and Hill tried to assure him they were trying while simultaneously biting their lips to not laugh at the director's face. Both the Assassins had almost reached the compound, they had eyes on them, and suddenly after they passed the second gate to the building, Tony disappeared from the view, they blinked and he wasn't there, Bucky entered through the front gate, and waited. He wasn't at all fazed by the fact that Tony wasn't there and then they are told Tony is approaching the Meeting hall. How the fuck did that happened like.... How??

He entered the meeting hall and was a little perplexed at the scene. Fury seemed like he was going to have a stroke. Rhodes kept smirking at him. Carol was very amused and Steve was red like R E D. He deposited the pen drive and said "i don't think much is needed to be explained here. Though you have three days after you start acting on the information I've handed you, they will start to get suspicious after a full week of their plans are ruined. Don't call me for the next week I'll be busy, Good day". And he leaves, just like that. They knew what they'll be busy doing.

"All this time amd you couldn't get into the earpiece to stop that string of pillowtalk?" Fury asked coulson and Hill who simply said "it's stark tech".
Steve asked himself "how did i miss this? Like how, when, what even? Why are you so calm colonel?". " I live with him Rogers" he said with a grin. "Well were never going to talk about this again, i can't see those two the same ever again and god bless me with their mercy i don't have to listen to anything like this ever again, ok get serious we need to go through the data and find this guy's conta-","Sup Bucharoo , I'm free for the next week you still up for your offer?" Tony's voice filled in the room again. Everyone stared at Fury who looked like his spirit has left his body. He ordered to see them so that he can chew their faces off in person. But he was rather traumatized yet again seeing two of the world's most dangerous men half naked, covered in bruises and scratches, against the walls of their private quarters, not inside the room.

Bucky bit Tony's neck hard and before any sound could enter the room again the whole thing went black and they turned to see Rhodey holding the display and audio cables. "Its that easy for us MIT people". How the rumours of the deadly power couple started they didn't know a week after after the incident when Rhodey laughed his ass off, Bucky almost landed his ass on the sofa for a few nights and Tony's ass was the centre of attraction for the next few weeks.

Fury ordered holy water eye drops.