Letting Go

      It all started that night. I knew i shouldnt have gone that far. But a broken heart takes you that way. It blows you down and just when you think your getting up you fall back down. Thats why it was called Love. 

     Well, i made a decision and i know it was bad. But it wasn't supposed to have turned out this way. i wasn't supposed to have ended up in a hospital with an iv injection inserted in my vein. i wasn't supposed to look like a horrifying monster from a nightmare. i was supposed to be dead. That's what i as thinking when i drove myself off the road. 

     These people are STUPID! they think it was an accident. But it wasn't. i was tired of seeing Jake kill me over and over and over and over again. i mean its tiring knowing your boyfriend is cheating on you but you dont want to tell him because that means you'll break up and all. I knew he was faking all along.

      All those time when he told me he was helping his father with work he was actually with her. i knew what he was actually doing but i didn't speak up for myself... i sat home and did something to myself that i though would ease my emotional pain...i cut myself. my arms and legs are covered woth cuts from knives and forks and glass; basically everything i could use actually...everything that would put me in pain.

     So, here i am facing the consequences of trying to commit suicide. i only did it because i couldn't let go and because i had no one. i didn't want to go to school, the only thing i did there was became a victim to a bully whom i couldn't stand up to. Names i was called, and pranks were played on me and that is a part of the reason why i never wanted to live anymore. I was tired of this bullshit! 

   I found myself lost in my thouhgts, in a hospital bed with needles and tubes connected to my body! ugh. could this get any worse? i never thought so until they walked in...both of them together...after hearing about my attempts to do this to myself....this is what theyre doing? do they realize thaat theyre making it preeeettyyyy obvious? naaahh they dont even give a shit.

   so, in came Jack and britney...and tore down my heart. Why couldnt i have just died...WHY?! i dont really know who to ask but oh well... theyre just gonna...go on and on and on and on.  But i wanted to know.. from jack. what had i done?! is this really what i deserved? 

 " How are you doing Alison" ? she questioned sounding oh so sympathetic i might have believed her if she said she didnt know who Jack was. 

 " oh, im alright. " i answered just as nicely as i was able to. 

 i wanted him to hold me in his arms and show me that he loved me but im afraid that wasnt possible. he loved his perfection. He had a reputation to stand up to. he cannot be with me. we are complete opposites, he has a good reputation, he has the money, the looks, the family, the life. what do i have? well, i have scars, and a broken heart, and thats all there is to it. 

 " Jack, can i talk to you? alone? " 

He answered with " yes ofcourse! Jenna can you step out for a moment please? "