Yesterday | Seth Clearwater

Chapter 12

Oh, so just tell me

Are you still hurtin'

And where did you come by

All of those burdens?

~ Matt Maeson "Cliffy"

Seth stood next to his father's open casket with his mother and Leah as people came up to offer their condolences. The room was packed with people from all over La Push and Forks, but Seth couldn't help but notice who was missing. Some of the pack had to stay behind to run patrol— only Jake had really known Harry anyways. But most importantly, Brooklyn wasn't in the room. Her mom and Paul were both there, but she wasn't.

Charlie Swan and his daughter, Bella, walked up to where the Clearwaters were standing. Charlie and Harry had been pretty close. Charlie Swan and Billy Black were his fathers closest friends. They had spent a lot of time together on fishing trips and doing whatever it is dads do when they gather together.

Bella went to go sit with Jake, while Charlie stayed behind to talk to Sue Clearwater. Bella had recently found out about the pack's secret. She had gone to Jacob's house to confront him, but instead ended up slapping Paul and causing him to phase in front of her. Seth thought that Bella was nice, but he didn't know her very well.

Brooklyn's mom, Jamie, came up to talk to Seth and his family. 

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Harry was a great person, and I was always really thankful that he looked out for Brooklyn when her own father wouldn't," Jamie said. 

"Thank you for the kind words," Sue responded. 

"Is she here? Brooklyn, I mean," Seth interjected. Leah rolled her eyes at his desperate behavior.

"She really wanted to come pay her respects, but she has a stomach bug," Jamie said. "Poor thing has been throwing up all morning."

"Oh," Seth said. Seth knew that he should be trying to move on, but it was easier said than done.

Seth held his mother's hand as the service began. Sue eventually got up to deliver the eulogy— it was beautiful, and by the end of it, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Seth couldn't believe that his father was really gone. He still expected his father to walk through the door in the evenings after a long day at work, but he never did.

Seth was thankful to have the pack— they had all been really welcoming and supportive of him during this whole process. They had become the brothers he had never had, and he knew that they thought of him in the same way. He was still sad that Leah was struggling so much to cope with the changes in her life, but he was hopeful that she would find happiness one day, and come to terms with everything that had happened. 

While Seth was glad that he had attended his father's funeral, he was also relieved when it was over. He wasn't sure how many more times he could hear "I'm sorry for your loss" before he completely lost it. 

"Hey, Mom," Seth said. "Is it alright if I go hang out at Sam's for a while?"

"Sure, Sweetie," Sue told him. She knew that he needed some time to deal with his emotions.

The pack decided to go cliff diving— it had been a difficult day, and they needed to unwind.

Seth watched as Quil shoved Embry off of the cliff into the water below. Then, Quil did a back flip off of the edge to meet his friend at the bottom. 

"Come on, I'll race you to the bottom," Jared said to Seth as he smacked him on the shoulder.

"You're on," Seth said as he ran to the edge of the cliff. Jared was right on his heels, and they both leapt off the edge. Seth laughed as the wind blew through his hair— in this moment he felt weightless. For a brief moment, he had no cares in the world. The impact of the water brought him back to reality. He heard Jared hit the water a split-second later.

"Ha! I win," Seth shouted. Jared replied by splashing Seth in the face with a wave of water, and they raced to the shore and ran back up to the highest cliff along with the rest of the pack. This was the most fun Seth had had since his father died, and it was also the first time he hadn't felt guilty for feeling happy. He felt ready to move on, to keep living. It was time to let go of the past, for real this time.

The next morning, Seth woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. As soon as it stopped ringing, it began to ring again. He looked at the caller ID— it was Brooklyn. He sighed and declined the call. A few minutes later, he got the notification that she had left a voicemail.

He hesitated, but ultimately decided to listen to it.

"Hey, Seth... I've been trying to give you your space because I know things have been rough lately. And I've tried so hard not to make this about me because it should be about you— your dad just died... his funeral was yesterday, and that's huge and it's terrible and I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now, and I am so so sorry. Harry was a great guy, and he was the closest thing I had to a father for most of my childhood. I still can't believe he's actually gone... And I know that this makes me an asshole. Trust me, I feel like such an asshole for saying this right now, but I really need you.

"I guess I should have known you wouldn't answer because you stopped showing up to school and I saw you cliff diving with Sam Uley's crowd yesterday, and people who start hanging out with Sam Uley always end up cutting everybody off. That's what happened with Paul, and I guess that's what's happening with you too. And I don't need to know why you're hanging out with Sam or why you won't talk to me, but I know that you declined my call because it only rang twice. So unless you call me back, and tell me that I'm wrong... I'm gonna take that as you telling me that we're over, and if that's what's happening... if that's what's happening then I'm gonna do what I have to do to get over you, and I'm gonna do my best to fix myself... and I'm not going to apologize for that."

Seth knows that she's crying because he can hear her sniffling. 

"Also, for the record, if this is how you're dumping me, then that makes you an asshole too... But there's some stuff that we really need to talk about, and I can't keep having one-sided conversations with your voicemail. So just... please call me back. I love you."

Seth ran his hands down his face. He couldn't call her back— even if Sam hadn't given him orders not to talk to any of his friends, Seth still wouldn't have called her back. He couldn't involve her in the supernatural... Seth loved her too much for that, and he had seen what it could do to people. It had driven Bella Swan into a depression, it had scarred Emily's face, and it had broken his family into pieces. Seth is a protector, so he has to do his job and protect Brooklyn from what she didn't know.

It was time that he let her go, and it was time for her to let him go as well. He deleted the voicemail from his phone, and went to Sam's house.