It is not what it looks like

Nothing's left

Today is the last day here. Today is the day I've been dreaming about all my life. The desire to know how my father looks like, how my siblings are like, is going to be quenched. However, I'm quite anxious of what awaits me there. I cannot ignore the aching in my chest. Leaving my life behind and starting a new one with complete strangers. They might be my family but still, I don't know them.

Laying in my bed, I stare at the clear sky that is slowly rising and painting the landscape orange. I check the time and realise its only 5:40am, but I've been awake for almost all night, turning and tossing.
Judgment day is really here. Isn't it?

My feet pad against the floor to drag out my fully packed bags. The pain in my chest I had been suppressing all night comes back now as my mind circles the topic. I'm really going away to a very foreign land. I'm leaving behind my friend Cash. This beautiful neighborhood will be forgotten. I'll never again let my feet dangle from the peir. Realisation suddenly hits me and whatever I felt last night pales in comparison to the terror that suddenly shivers through my bones.
My entire life will be like fragments of my own imaginations. This time there is no period to save me from the truth. The truth my mother has been dying to protect me from.

But you can't fucking hide from karma. Can you?

It's crazy, really. When you think about it. I have been living a lie all my life. Gone to school here, graduated from college, made friends here, even recently applied for a job at the hospital as a doctor, hopping I'd get it, but it turns out I'll leave all that behind. When I think about that, all I feel is a sinking feeling in my stomach, like a dark pit is opening up. But atleast I can fool myself into thinking it's the right thing to do.

My heart plummets inside my chest as I keep thinking about the new life I'm beginning in less than a day.
I am so anxious of my unseen future.

My mother's voice snaps me from my thoughts. Her eyes crush over my body like an unfurling wave making me forget- just for a moment- everything else.
"I called the cab and it will be here in less than ten minutes. Have you packed everything?"

I only nod because even my vocal cords feels like they've been destroyed.
The silence between us is heavy, weighing like a layered blanket. I still don't understand why we need to leave everything behind. Before I speak my mind out loud, the sound of a car horn announces our time has come. Matching behind my mother to the exit, I turn around once more to double check if I have everything. Or rather if I'm still trying to wake up from a very bad dream. Even as I close my eyes and squeeze them shut, I'm fully aware that I'm leaving.

Nothing's left.

*****************
Even now, as our plane Tallys along the runaway, I still feel the same way. I'm still trying to convince myself that it's too crazy to be real. I'll be back with my friend Cash when all this is over. That's the only thought that's playing around my mind at the moment. Maybe if I say it or think about it enough, it'll feel true. But who am I kidding? I'm not coming back.

It's a goodbye for life.

As the aeroplane continues to roll across the drives and I'm still here, I realise I couldn't dream this up. What's left of me now is holding on to hope that everything is going to be okay.

Despite the luxurious accomodations in the first class, the journey still appears to have been long, confusing and tiring. You can add turbulence to that list. What was supposed to be a 10hr flight turns out to a 20hr flight. Thanks to my lack of consideration on the time difference.

We departed from Fort Worth at 8:00am yesterday and we finally arrive at the international airport of Uzbékí in Lankaya today... On Tuesday at 4:00pm

My mind wonders aimlessly, anxious about what awaits us in Lankaya. After getting off the plane, we head to through the customs, which isn't as tiring as staying in the plane all day long. Although having to deal with the natives here is too frustrating because most either can't speak English or if they do, their accent is too heavy that you have to strain to understand them.

It's nearly 5:00pm when we head to the luggage carousel but before we reach there, we spot a black, heavily built man dressed in leather clothes, a leather belt with a silver lion head at the middle, carrying a spear and shield on one hand and a sign with our names on the other. His muscular physique, broad chest and round biceps scream worrior.
Wow, I thought such people are only seen on television, but that's where I was wrong.

"Welcome to Lankaya Miss Demi," he then turns to me and says, "Milady, I am Antonio and Im here to take you home." He finishes with a slight bow which is abit unnerving.

Milady? Should I curtsy too?

"Uh..Thank you." My mum drawls, before turning her head towards the carousel and we see our bags coming down the conveyor and we get over to get them, but before we can lift them, he says, "Allow me please." From behind before gently coming in front of us to pick them up.

"This way miss, milady." He says while
slinging out bags over his shoulders, like they weigh like nothing.

Exiting the electronic doors, we follow him from behind, Abit bewildered, my nerves kicking in big time.