Inspire others with your story

Inspire

Let us voice it out and inspire others at the same time!

2 years ago, I felt that my world was breaking apart and I was nowhere to be found but at the edge. I needed boundless of empathy from people around me and I realised that there's no need for me to live my life on others, it is mine to live for and no one determines it, I should be the one calling the shot.

I did a lot of foolish things but I did not regret it because I feel that it was a lesson meant for me. I was being despised by people who are highly intelligent in their academics whereas, I was not a match to even speak a word from my mouth. I felt as if I was being suffocated. Initially, I told myself that I should hold on and just go with the flow but I came to my sense and found out that I was not losing anyone but myself. I was so lost, all I could think of was taking pain to myself. Mental pain can never be compared to physical pain and that was when I finally understood why people wanted to do it. Whenever I am stressed out, I always had the tendency to do things without any hesitations as I feel that I deserve the pain because I am no one but a sore loser. It came to a point whereby I told myself that there is nothing for me to be afraid of because I had nothing to lose. I became bolder to go against anyone who tried to asked me to go back to that atrocious and displeasing club.

Honestly, I knew that I was being pin pointed by a teacher but I couldn't find the reason. I did not join the club willingly, I was being forced to and  I wasn't given a choice. It was a singing club and although it wasn't my choice of clubs out of many but I tried giving my passion into it but it opposed and became hatred. That particular teacher always make me look embarrassed whenever I could not hit the high note off or I just wasn't capable to reach his expectations. I was someone who already had low confidence in myself but he made it worst. My self esteem escalated. This club lasted for 2 years for me and I couldn't take it any longer. I was asking myself, "why am I doing something I don't like?" Even though singing was my only choice to participate but the choice of me not wanting to go lies in my hands. At that moment, I decided to let go of everything and just skipped that lesson. I was so tired of hiding those scars that lasted for weeks. I just wanted to let out a good cry but there was no where for me to. I had to keep it in because no one really cared, everyone thinks this is just a small matter why am I overreacting. It might be a small matter to others but a huge obstacle for yourself. For instance, it can be as good as losing just a pen but losing that pen might be a huge lost for that person, it can be a gift from someone that they lost from this world. The pain of losing someone we love cannot even be described. Even when I was crying, I had to hide. There was so many things for me to hide but I did not do anything wrong, why am I hiding? I always sit at the upper deck of the bus and start tearing up because I am finally alone and I made sure that I will remember to wipe my tears away before alighting so no one will see this side of me. I became even more daring and attendance was not something that has a space in my mind anymore, all I wanted to do was simply, escaping. I did not dare to go home because I did not want to be questioned. I was loitering out of school and going back home only during the evening. I could be seen with many friends around me, but when I really needed them, they were nowhere. Sometimes, when ranting to them doesn't mean that they have to compare their past situation and tell me off that theirs was much worst. I don't need that comparison, I just needed to rant. Are you trying to me feel worst? Or am I suppose to comfort you now? Honestly, I wished that I could just disappear into thin air and never come back to this pathetic world I am living in.

Until, I found a place for me to be truly happy. I did not like to hang out with friends and so I started volunteering outside of school. Whenever I chat with the elderly, I am a million times happier than them when I see them smiling, I could finally feel the genuineness around them. Being with the kids who are less fortunate made me forget about the problems I had because they were so pure and innocent to the point that they deserve all my time. Always remember that, you might not mean much to those people around you but as long as you're willing to lend a helping hand to those in need, the returning of gifts from them is memories that are priceless. It is funny how an encouragement from a stranger makes me feel better than anyone else's. They are someone who completely don't know me but they are willing to have heart to heart talks with me when my closest friends didn't want to. Instead of always hiding, find a place to be yourself again. Whereas, I found mine. Volunteering left deep memories for me and it makes me want to help more people in this world.  "Helping one person might not change the world but it could change the world for the person".

Whatever you're going though right now, it is gonna be ok. If its not, remember it simply means that it is not the end of the world yet! Write your story off to feel better, people might even feel inspired from yours!

I sincerely hope you have enjoyed this short story.

-skye