Carl's pov
I sat in my bed, isolating myself from everybody. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, and I didn't speak. I hadn't gotten over anything yet. Colt died and Jess left me all in the same day. It just shows that love isn't possible in a world like this. The two people I love the most in the world were taken from me and I have nothing.
"Carl? Come on! You can't just sit there and mope all day. Moping won't bring anyone back here. I need your help." my dad explained as he walked into the room.
"Dad, no one needs my help. No one needs me. No one wants me." I sighed.
"Dammit Carl! None of that is true. Without you, I don't know what I would do, let alone anyone else. I'm sure Jess wouldn't want you saying or even thinking that."
"Don't you dare bring her into this!" I growled.
"Carl, I'm just trying to make a point. You need to take care of yourself. You reek and your so thin and frail. I don't want you to die too. And don't get me wrong, I'm sad about Colt, too. But I would never be able to stand to live without you. My son"
"Dad, can you just leave me alone? If it makes you feel any better, I won't kill myself. I just want some more time to think about things."
"Fine. But you get one more day. After that, you're helping us out, no more moping." he conditioned. I nodded in agreement and he walked out. I sighed and out my head in my hands.
I looked at the desk and saw the note that ruined my life. I picked it up off of the desk and read it over and over again.
If I ever did happen to follow her, how could I apologize for everything I said? I probably can't. It makes me worthless.
Unfortunately, I said I wouldn't kill myself, which was a shame because my mind wanted me to do it. So I picked up my knife. I never said I would cut. Besides, I was told cutting relieves the pain you feel, which is what I really need right now. I dragged it across my wrist one time and it did not relieve my pain.
Maybe I'll try another day because I know my dad's gonna beat my ass when he sees this. I grabbed a cloth and soaked the blood in it before pulling my sleeve down over it so that nobody would see it. I grabbed my hat off of the seat beside me and dusted it off. I stared at it for a minute before putting it on top of my head. I got up and went downstairs where my dad was waiting. Did I forget to mention that the remainder of the group abandoned us on a run? I had a nervous breakdown and they ran off thinking I was a total phsycho.
"Hey Dad." I greeted weakly. He looked at me a smiled.
"Hey. Finally decide to join me? Come have some squirrel. I just got done cooking it." he said as he put a giant portion of the meat onto my plate and passing it to me.
"Thanks Dad."
"Mhm." he said as he chewed.
"Hey Dad?" I asked.
"Hey Carl?" he mocked.
"Do you think she'll ever come back or that we'll ever find her? I just really want to see her face at least one more time. I miss it."
"Oh yeah. I'm sure we'll find her. We just gotta look and be smart about things. I mean, how far can she go in just one week on foot?" he assured me.
"Yeah. I never thought of it that way. I'm glad you think that. Do you think that we can maybe start looking for her in the morning?" I hesitantly asked.
"I guess we could. We gotta find a car and some gas first, but sure. I'd do anything to see you smile and be happy again."
"Thanks Dad."
The rest of dinner was silent besides the chews of our meat. It wasn't a bad silence, in fact, I enjoyed it. Silence was my new best friend.
I trudged up to my bedroom and thought to myself. I know we could definately find Jess. It's just a matter of her forgiving me for blaming Colt's death on her. Although it won't be easy, I think I might be able to do it.
I laid on my bed, satisfied with what the day brought me. It brought me optimism that I may be able to see my wife again. And that's good enough for me.
A/N: hey guys! Sorry this is short, but I'm kinda missing dinner right now to write this. Please expect another chapter for tonight because I will be writing when I'm done eating. I hope you liked it!
