Why Sanji ACTUALLY Hates Zoro

A Brief Message Of Solidarity

So I had to take off well over a year from writing to deal with some health issues, but now I'm ready to get back into the flow of fanfiction! I sincerely hope that all of my readers are doing well, new or old, at the time that you happen across this story. There is more Zosan to come, especially since I'm quarantined at home due to the coronavirus. We, as humans, are all in this together. Please try to stay safe and healthy wherever you and your families are--I believe that anime brings the world together, and the world could definitely use some solidarity right about now.

In the immortal worlds of a literary genius who was well beyond his time,

DON'T PANIC!!!

-Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy)

With Love,

The Author :)

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The goddamn Shitty-cook was at it again, and Zoro's last nerve was wearing thinner than the scrawny bastard who was currently flipping out on him and instigating a soon to be all-out brawl in the kitchen.

The pissed-off swordsman had already forgotten why he was even being attacked right now when all he'd wanted was a fucking drink--he never could predict when Sanji would actually allow him to sneak into the stockpile or, instead, make some sort of ridiculous scene over something seemingly inconsequential (although he always framed the situation as if Zoro were the bad guy).

Today, the swordsman had just had enough.

He snapped--and he would own-up to his part in the inevitable destruction that was to come, tomorrow of course, because right now, he was going to freak right-the-fuck-back.

"Come at me, then, Curly-brow--I'll finally cut that stupid, blond fringe off and see how ridiculous the other half of your face looks!"

As usual, needling Sanji about his greatest insecurities was a sure-fire way to light him up like a firecracker until he was practically blazing--diable jambe in full throttle despite the wooden kitchen they were currently standing in which he usually treated as if it were his own personal property, complete with a list of rules that he expected Zoro to follow.

Well, fuck that--the swordsman had been dealing with the Shitty-cook's bad attitude for months on end, and he was about to get to the bottom of it once and for all.

In the course of perhaps ten minutes, he was able to trick Sanji into thinking that this were simply one of their normal fights. However, Zoro had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to best the cook ever since Thriller Bark when Sanji's already unpredictable mood-swings seemed to have tripled overnight.

Even Zoro was capable of picking out patterns when he chose to look for them--noticing your enemy's weaknesses could always be attained through strategy, after all.

He was going to win this fight in the next 10 seconds...

Catch him off-guard when he steps back from his forward attack, he told himself calmly, taking Sanji by the lapels of his jacket in a quick, darting motion. 3 seconds had ticked passed by the time his fingers curled around the expensive fabric at the cook's collar in a steely grip.

The blond had probably thought that he would have the upper hand since Zoro had yet to draw his swords--and not because he couldn't...no, this was allll part of his plan.