Depression and Lesbian

The night before.

I sat there crying in the mirror. I knew I wasnt good enough for anyone. I knew I was ugly. I knew I was fat. I knew everything was bad about me. I'm just a big disappointment I suck at everything. I looked in the mirror and grabbed my knife. I wouldn't kill myself but I did cut. I slashed five marks down my arm. I stopped crying and washed my face. I put a napkin on my arm to stop the bleeding. I grabbed my black long sleeve shirt and ripped black jeans and put them on. I threw away the napkin and put on my vans shoes. I rode my bike to school. When I arrived to class I looked across the room and saw a girl. I've never seen her before. I think she's new. She saw me looking at her and I looked away quickly. She came over there and sat next to me.
"Hey. I'm new here. Do you mind if I sit here?" She spoke. She sounded like a angel.
"Umm hi my name is Sam. You can sit here." I replied.
"I love your name. My name is Mia. What are your classes? Here's mine."
"Thanks and here you go those are my classes."
As I compared the papers I saw we have every class together. We even have gym and lunch together.
"Well hopefully you don't get sick of me. We have every class together" Mia said with a laugh.
"Haha I won't." I replied.
"Do you listen to girl in red?" She asked me.
"Omg yes. I'm a lesbian by the way."I answered.
"Omg me too!!" She replied.
"That's awesome!" I said.
"Yeah we should totally go to the pride parade together!! It's this weekend if you want to go with me" she asked.
Holy shit! Was she asking me out?!?! Holy fuck! She is so fucking pretty and beautiful and I want to kiss her so bad.
"I would love to go with you! What time does it start?"I answered.
"It starts at 2:00pm but if you want I can pick you up at 12:00 and we can go get ice cream or something" she replied.
"Yes I would love to!!" I answered.
"LADIES!! BE QUIET!" The teacher yelled at us.
"Yes ma'am " we both said and then looked at each-other and laughed.
After that class we walked to our next class and we just started at eachother the whole class. She gave me her number and then we walked to lunch. The rest of the day went on and then we rode our bikes and to my surprise she lives on the same street as me. So we rode our bikes home.
"I'll pick you up at 12:00 tomorrow" she said.
"Ok I'll see you there." I replied.
I went inside and told my mom that I was hanging out with Mia tomorrow.
"Wow I'm proud of you for being nice to the girl."
"Thanks mom she is super nice." I replied as I went upstairs to my room. I took out my phone and saw I had a text from Mia.
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Mia🏳️‍🌈💕
Hey.
Hey.
Want to FaceTime me?
Yes!!
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I answered her call.
"Hey so what should I wear tomorrow?"she asked.
"Anything pride!!" I answered.
"I'm not out to my family yet so I don't have anything pride." She answered.
"Oh that's okay I got stuff you can wear. I'm not out either I just hide it haha. Let's just both wear a regular shirt and ripped jeans. I'll bring the stuff" I told her.
"Okay that will work perfectly!! We can take my car." She replied.
"Okay sounds like a plan. I'm going to go to sleep so I'll see you tomorrow."I said.
"Ok goodnight" she answered
"goodnight"I said as I hung up.
I packed 4 different pride shirts, 4 different types of pants, and 2 pairs of pride shoes. I put that all into a rainbow bag. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I thought about Mia and how amazing she is. I thought about tomorrow.
"Maybe I should pack pride underwear and bras just to spice things up."
I thought to myself. I went to my closet and reached to the back and grabbed 2 pairs of underwear and 2 bras. I put them in the bad along with extra makeup for pride. I looked back into the mirror and thought "I need to throw up so I can look skinnier at pride I don't want to look like a big blob." I then stuck two fingers down my throat and threw up into the toilet. I flushed it and then went to sleep.
When I woke up I saw that it was already 11:00 so I ran downstairs in my Pj's and grabbed a banana and strawberry smoothie out of the fridge and took a few sips. I went back upstairs and washed my face and got dressed when I was done and grabbed my bag it was 12:00 so I looked outside and there Mia was. Walking up to the door and about to knock when I opened the door.
TO BE CONTINUED.....