Posty works at Party City

Graveyard Shift

Today marks the three year anniversary of Austin Posts, formerly known as Post Malone, retirement from the music industry. A cloudy night filled with the resembling smell of the six flags fermented garbage waste lingered around the infamous Party City Super center since employees never threw away trash in its respected place. Three years spent in this larger and more cheap China plastic packed super store,  Austin had become the top employee for his second year in a row.

He enjoyed working the graveyard shifts which consisted of staying until midnight to make sure all the glitter bombs and bootleg Peppa Pig necklaces were back on their respected hangers and shelves. Scraping off the stacked children's booger's from the rusted metal waste bins in the men's bathroom and wiping the layered red piss stains from the women's room were all many enjoyable things he'd accomplish every night.

This night was most definitely different, since of course, it was his anniversary from escaping the rockstar lifestyle. He could finally be a regular person enjoying the simple pleasures in life such as taking a rushed 30 minute break hoping he has enough time to drive to Burger King which was at least 15 minutes away from the store and order a double whopper with an extra slice of American cheese and large fries with an extra large coke but make sure there's an extra slice of American cheese because last time they forgot it and he was too shy to go back and ask for it because he really didn't wanna be that guy who complains and everyone else would be staring at him because he was holding up the ordering line and it was rush hour so that would just add another 15 minutes, so he drove off stuffing it in his face because he knew Michael his store manager was going to yell at him for being late from break and sure enough while he went to Burger King the land of liquid smoked burgers and stale Oreo chocolate Cream single sliced over processed ice cream pies, Mrs.Karen the middle aged soccer mom of three was trying to get 50 balloons filled for her daughters 5th birthday while little Suzy Q was screaming and crying as a trail of thick booger's flowed into her mouth every time she gasped for air in between screams because all she wanted was to watch the 10th rerun of the AMAs the year that Miley Cyrus lost it and wore that nude latex two piece set that exposed her camel toe because little did Karen know daughter Suzy Q was going to grow up to be a closeted butch lesbian but Karen was pissed it was taking so long as Michael was short a hand so Austin had to throw away the rest of his post apocalyptic preserved meal and rush to clock in to help Michale before Karen decided to call head quarters and complain that her daughters birthday was completely ruined all because Austin decided to get a double whopper with triple cheese.

Whoo, anyway.

Austin knew he had to do something special as this day was one of many he wanted to add to his amazing memory's bucket list. After all the customers had left he locked the grimy Party City doors that had been constantly touched that day by dozens of virus infested children's hands who only are made for picking their ass and shoving rolly pollys in their mouths. Austin flicked the front of store lights off leaving the rest of the second half of the massive building lit.

"Ah, what a time to be alive." He said to himself with a grin as his eyes scanned the shelves while the one eyed Woody piñata hanging from the ceiling stared back at him silently begging to be put out of his misery. He then picked up the remaining pieces of extra party fun off the floors and wiped any exposed counter surface while occasionally running into the unwrapped half bitten off brand tropical tootsie rolls. After all his night shifts tasks were completed he strolled along into the employee break room and found that the fridge had been left open.

"Huh? What's this?" Post then eased his way towards the half broken down electrical cooling device to be met with one shock of a surprise.
"HOLY SHIT! NO WAY!"

To be continued...