The building was musty with the thick smell of shitty pizza and child abduction. Mikey, dragging his frothing chops on the dirty child sweat incrusted floor, walked through the creepy ass party rooms to get to his surveillance office. He couldn't help but get chills as he glanced around the spooky corridors full of rule 34 fan art of Foxy.
He was only frightened for a second though, because he decided to vigorously consume a banana that he had laced with deadly doses of LSD, so he just tripped mad balls before he could even open his office door.
When he got in, Mikey turned on the lights and booted up the surveillance gear inside the room while sticking his Ellen Degeneres-themed vibrator one foot up his ass to calm himself.
The clock read 11:59 pm.
Mikey plugged in his panini press into the wall, and began making grilled cheese sandwiches while humming Buttercup, completely forgetting that it was almost 12am.
Several third-degree burns later, Mikey finally got his shit together and looked at the cameras. It was now 3am, but it was only the first night, so the animatronics hadn't moved yet.
Mikey, true to his genius nature, flipped through the cameras rapidly, pretending it was like a stop motion film before realizing that Bonnie had moved to one of the party rooms.
Still tripping balls, Mikey hid under his desk, completely forgetting the task at hand while playing one-player tic tac toe on the inside of he desk, using only his finger nails to scratch the lines into it.
After three whole hours of one-player tic tac toe, his fingers were as red as a white kid's asshole after a Taco Tuesday from all the blood on his fingers.
Just then, the clock struck 6am, and Mikey made it through his first night at Freddy's.
High as fuck, he took his monkey wrench out of his backpack and headed for Pirate's Cove.
