Broken Down

Broken Down Chapter #3

I had been awoken by a loud thud. John. I thought. He’s returned to his old ways. The ways i’m used to. The ways I shouldn’t be used to. No one should be used to this. No one should have to go through what i’m going through. I feel sorry for everyone who is being abused to the point of suicide. No one deserves to go through this.

John bursted through my door that morning. He had a hammer in his hand. Oh no. I thought. He’s going to beat me with a hammer!  I thought about running. That though only lasted 2 seconds before I thought of fighting him. He need to know that what he is doing is wrong and that it needs to stop. He needs to know what it feels like to be the victim. He needs to know what he’s putting the people he “loves” through. I got this. I thought to myself. I can do this. John threw the hammer at my head. I dodged it and ran into him, making his back slam against the wall. John grunted in pain and I felt a tiny smile appear on my face. It vanished as soon and I felt the impact of an elbow on my back. I screamed in pain. John smiled. As I lay on my back on the floor John makes his way towards me and starts to bend over to grab my throat. I kick him in the chest before he has the chance to lay a finger on me. I knocked the wind out of him.

Adrenaline was rushing through me. It felt good to get my anger out. I love the feeling of being really confidant and thinking you can do anything. I tried to challenge myself as I beat the shit out of John. I tried to picture that John was the strongest as ever. My goal was to be stronger than him. Physicaly and mentaly.

John punched me in the gut and I coughed up blood. John had the satisfied smirk on his face. I spit out the remaining blood that was left in my mouth, in his face. I hit my target. His eyes. He closed his eyes and while he was momentarily blind, I kicked him the the balls and as he hunched over in pain, I grabbed the back of his head and brought his face to my knee and broke his nose.

He fell to the floor.

“Don’t you EVER come near me and my mom again!” I yelled

“If I ever see you again I will beat your ass and put you in the hospital and you will be put in prison for the rest of your life. Got it?” I finished yelling and he nodded.

“ Get out of my sight.” I said. He stumbled to get up and he darted out of my room as fast as he possibly could. I felt a smile of satisfaction grow on my face.

I heard dresser drawers being opened and slammed shut. He’s leaving! Thank god hallelujah!!!!  I decided to go downstairs and check on my mom. She was sitting on the couch in tears. As soon as she saw me she bolted up off the couch and hugged me.

“Are you okay??” she asked concerned. I nodded.

“It’s John you should be worried about.” I said to her. She had this confused look on her face. John stumbled down the stairs and when he reached the bottom he looked at mom. I stepped in front of her and glared at him. He got this scared look on his face.

“Leave. Now.” I said sternly. John stopped staring at my mom and left. When I looked at mom again she still had a confused look.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“I kicked his ass.” I simply replied.

“Is that why he looked scared of you?” What is this 20 questions??  I thought. I nodded. She was clearly still confused to I sat next to her on the couch and explained what happened.

After an hour of talking about what happened I took a shower to get all the blood off of me. I loved the feeling of warm water running down my body. When I finished my shower I got dressed and went downstairs. I need food. I thought. I looked through the fridge and cabinets and found NOTHING! Mom never bought groceries.

“MOM!!” I yelled from the kitchen. She came to the kitchen.

“We need food.” I said. She nodded and motioned for me to follow her to the car. When we got to the store I got everything I wanted to eat over the next week or so.

        When I got home I ate and went up to my room. I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. After about 15 minutes of looking at my ceiling I decided to listen to must. I grabbed my iPod off my nightstand and plugged in my headphone and Tears Don’t Fall by Bullet For My Valentine. I love this song.

After about an hour I decided to go for a walk. I told my mom was walking I was rockin’ out to music on my iPod and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I ran into someone. When I looked up to apologized, I saw this girl in tears.

“Are you okay?” I asked That as a stupid question. The girl’s in tears. Of course she’s not okay. I thought as I mentally slapped myself in the face.

“Whats wrong?” I asked. She shook her said and said “Nothing. I’m fine.” I couldn’t see her face real well and when I ducked down a little to see her face I noticed that she had a black eye.

“Who did that to you?” I asked concerned. She shook her head again.

“N.. no one. I… I ran into a pole.” Lie. I could tell that she was lying by the way she stuttered and she couldn’t look up at me.

“Please don’t lie to me. I know a beating when I see one.” I said. She looked up at me, shocked. She had these wide eyes and just walked away without saying another word. Learn to keep your damn mouth shut Silver. I thought as I mentally face palmed myself.

I started walking back home and I was yet again, dancing and singing and I ran into about 5 more people. I also tripped and fell in some bushes once. I have thorns stabbing me in the ass. I will get them out of my jeans as soon as I get home. Until then I continued rockin’ out.

It took about 30 minutes to get back home. As I walked through the door, I see a girl on the couch crying and, my mom trying to comfort her. My mom and the girl looked towards the door to see who came in. Her. The girl I ran into on my walk. What is she doing here?

“Silver, this is Alex.” I just stood there in confusion.

“Um. Hi?” I said. Alex stands and looks at me awkwardly. I can tell she doesn’t know what to say.

“Uh, mom. What is she doing here?” I ask.

“Do you remember Alex? I used to babysit her all the time t=when you girls were growing up.” She replies.

“Um, no.” I say. I don’t remember. That must have been when i was really little, when my father was still around. My father left me and my mom when i was only 3. He told my mom that he couldn’t deal with me or my mother anymore. My mom still loves him. At least I hope she still does.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Alex clearing her throat.

“I’m just gonna go.” She says.

“No it’s okay sweetheart, you can stay.” my mother replies.

“No. Thats okay. I should be getting home. But thanks.” Alex says before stopping in front of me. I look at her.

“Excuse me.” She says softly. I didn’t realize I was still standing in the way of the door.

“It was nice meeting you.” I say as I move out of the way.

“You too.” She says, then leaves. I go to the kitchen to get some water, then head back to the living room where my mother is. “What was all of that about?” I ask.

“She just needed help with some stuff.” She answers. I decided to leave it as that and not start a huge conversation. “Okay.” I said, then head upstairs to attempt to clean my room. I probably won’t get very far, but dammit i can at least try.

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