Diabolus: The Lost Phoenix

Chapter Twenty Five

KAI WOODS
I slowly place my feet on the gray asphalt, only lightened up by the dim streetlights. I'm walking like my shoes were too tight, making short little strutting steps like a clockwork soldier. Unusually slowly, almost robotically, as if my brain was struggling to tell each foot to take the next step. But I know it's just my mind, my heart; because I don't want to get back into the house.

Then, we will all have to face the truth. Beverly. Avery. Brent. Everyone will find out that I've lied to them, and that both of the girls might be related. But after the things that Daryl told me, I'm almost sure this is the truth. Giving me a terrible headache, more unanswered questions. How?

"You know, that's the beauty of marriage. You're not afraid of anyone that could kill you, but you suddenly become afraid of your wife. Oh... women."

"Keep talking and I'm going to be the one who you'll be afraid of."

"No need to be so irritated, Diabolus. They'll understand, eventually, but they will. People tend to forget how important solicitude is when they see it every day."

I purse my lips as the irritation keeps growing inside me, yet I want to argue with Daryl... but I can't. I know he's right, I know that eventually, they'll understand. But to watch Beverly's eyes when she'll realize I kept things from her will break my heart.

I had to find out those things myself, to make sure I will be able to deliver them to Beverly, and others the way that they wouldn't get too shocked, or mad. Maybe I shouldn't blame myself, but I do. The guilt is ice in my guts, and I can't melt it on my own, I can't shift it at all. I need this confession, to share this with my family; it's destroying me. It makes me feel like I'm turning into a person I always avoided to become. A liar.

Honesty is the key to a healthy, happy marriage, and I just broke it. My actions show just how selfish and controlling I am, maybe even overprotective. I always kept telling myself I do things to protect Beverly, but am I, really? Maybe it's just because I want to control everything around me. And that thing just started to eat me from the inside.

"I'm glad we made a deal, Diabolus. Other assassins wouldn't be as smart as you are, but we both know you're not a usual one."

As I lift my head up to take a look at Daryl, I notice we're just in front of his car in the driveway to the house. I turn to face him one more time, his usual robustly ruddy complexion is pleased. Happy. His weathered skin lay in folds like ice scraped from a mid-winter windshield, but the face is warm with a hellish smile.

I can't get rid of the thought that there's something that I'm envious of. That I admire. Maybe, how calm, relaxed he is. How he manages to stay cold. But perhaps it happens when you don't have such a big family, a wife to take care of.

"What exactly happened between you and Caden?"

Daryl turns away, as if he was admiring his shiny black BMW. I hear a silent, show sigh leaving his lips before he turns back to me; his eyes got dark and something suddenly flashes in them, something sad, or the feeling of longing. I try to catch that glimpse in his eyes, but before I can, that annoying smile creeps on his face again.

"Does it matter right now?

"If I can't trust you, you can kill Caden yourself."

Evil laughter escapes his mouth and he lifts his head up, counting the stars, and I know that he's just avoiding talking about his past. And I can't blame him. I was avoiding to talk about Kevin for eight years.

"Caden was my friend. Once. Before he killed somebody very important to me."

"How?"

"You couldn't call his father a parental person, it wasn't a surprise that he let him take his car drunk, and having no driver license. And that evening, my daughter was crossing the street..."