Drifting away

the arrival

I feel the slight vibration underneath me reminding me that I'm In a car, not just any car It belongs to my new carers Mr and Mrs Smith haha they've got a killer surname but I'm told to call them just plain John and Claire. As I open my eye I see a nervous looking John with a calm and collected Claire, I rub away my clouded vision and see that Claire has turned to me with a kind and loving smile. I do feel sorry for her she does seem like a caring mother but she can't have kids. "Hello sweetie how you doing back there are you okay" she asks with worry in her voice, I try to smile but it turns into a scowl "I'm fine Mrs Sm--- I mean Claire" I say with as much enthusiasm as possible. She nods excusing my mistake and tells me were close to the house.

After an awkward 20 minute ride we parked outside a modern style house with a cliché picket fence and flowers covering the patio. I step out of the car and feel the cold wind blowing a soft breeze on my face; I stay silent as I make my way up to the house following Claire. I walk in and smell a hint of lavender in the house which looks clean and white with everything intact.

" honey your room is up the stairs to your right third door down after you get settled in come down stairs and we need to discuss something's with you and can have some dinner." Claire says with a hint of worry in her voice. I give her a polite smile and make my way up to my room; I walk in and see a mixture of black and white which kind of reminds me of my mind right now. I put my small suit case on top of my bed just wanting to burn all my clothing, I had hardly anyway but I don't need to be naked so I think I will keep them. I unpack all my stuff which took about 20 minutes, and I push the suitcase under my bed. I sit with a huff and properly look over my new room. I got a queen size bed with black and white sheets, a black cupboard with a sticky note ...wait hold on a minute... there are sticky notes all over my room. I walk up and read the one on my cupboard which says paint/decorate me in bold letters, all the notes say that. I look at my huge floor length mirror and is so wide I can see my whole room from it. As I gaze at myself in the mirror and look and the tanned colour that has come back to my skin and the weight that I've gained which makes me healthier and not just flesh on a stick, I've realised I could be normal but my eyes glance at my wrist and see that cut that will forever hold a scar and remind me everyday that I'm worthless.

I make my way down stairs and find claire and john sitting in the living room drinking wine with pizza in front of them I knock on the door and stand there waiting for an answer to be welcomed in "come in sweetie no need to knock sit down and have some pizza" I walk slowly shuffling with my sleeves and take a seat. "Ok Andrea we've got a few things to talk to you about first is that for this week you will not be attending school for this week because we are sending you to a boarding school that will help you broken-house high on the weekends we will come pick you up and you can stay here.i sit there silent as always nit uttering a word and I nod my head and cast my eyes down at the freshly made pizza I take the smallest slice and eat. I look up and sense the awkwardness that needs to be changed. " umm sorry if you mind me asking but out if curiosity what ate your jobs" I ask feeling like I'm prying in too much. "Oh don't worry that's not prying at all Andrea, I work as a lawyer at the firm on 237 avenue street and my wife is a fashion designer you have heard of basic boulgari right" John asks with a confused face on. I stare at Claire in shock. She owns the multi million dollar fashion company BB for short wow. "Off course I no it that's my favourite brand I was wondering if you could help me pick out some clothes from your line I can only afford some because I haven't really got any clothes most of them were thrown away" I ask feeling ridiculous for asking such a big favour. Claire's eyes shot wide whilst she stood up grabbed my hand and began running down the corridor we stopped at a double door which I didn't even know existed till now. Claire blew out a breath and pushed the doors revealing a room filled with more cloths than any girl could imagine. "Ive always wanted a daughter to give her my designs and now I have you" she says whilst a tear rolls down her cheek. She smiles and gives me a slight nudge towards the endless amount of clothes hanging on so many racks that my eyes nearly buldged out of there sockets.

After half an hour of nagging, to rethink my wardrobe and trying on clothes with me protesting to wear a t-shirt because of my ugly scar, Claire kissed my scar and said it shows I've fought a war and I came out with a heroic scar that I should be proud of it. After that speech I was shown a bunch of paints pots and was told that I was allowed to decorate my room however I wanted. I grabbed the black and the white and went straight to my bedroom and locked the door I put them in the corner and crawled into a fetal position on my bed rocking back and forth. That was too much to handle as I slow down and sit up wiping away my tears. I go, take a shower and brush my teeth then jump into bed and fall into a well needed sleep.