Town of the doomed souls

Chapter 4

By entering his house in the evening, Andrew hung his jacket on a hook in the hallway, went to the kitchen and made himself a cup of strong coffee. Then he went to the living room and sat down on the couch, took out an old yellowed envelope that he carried all day long in his bag and thoughtfully twirled it in his hands. Had he even the right to read this letter? He wasn't an addressee after all. He got a transfer to this town just because this position was a burden to the other candidates, for he alone had nothing that could not be left behind. He had no family that would keep him in place; he never had a dog that needed to be vaccinated to take it with on the journey. He had no property that could not be sold. He neither run away from anything nor was he looking for something. And what is more, he wasn't looking for a girl who died on the very day he was born. After several minutes of deliberation, he took a sip of his coffee and opened an old envelope. Inside there was a bundle of sheets folded in half, written on both sides undoubtedly by the same hand as the three previous messages. He estimated a number of sheets with interest (there were not less than thirty), cautiously laid them out on the coffee table and began to read.

"Hello, my dearest! Hello, my one and only! Oh, how it grieves me to know, that I can never tell you this, looking into your eyes and holding you in my arms. I can never even touch you... It is so hard to chase a dream all life long and hope for a meeting that will never come. Maybe you do not even know what I am talking about, but you are reading these lines, and that means that you have found me. That means that it all was not in vain.

To help you to remember, I have to start from the beginning, but I can only share with you the years, that I lived from the day I was born, and this is too short a period. You know, it will not cover even the smallest part of our existence, but my life is still a few short chapters from your centuries-old biography. I hope my story will lead you towards your own stolen memory. You know everything yourself, you remember everything, it is all still with you. Don't worry; I will help you to go back to our world, where we are together.

My name won't say much about me; the family I came from won't also illuminate the mystery of my soul, so I'll start with the day I first met you.

I was a little girl, my parents just entered me in the local school, and for me it was the most exciting event of my life. I thought that it was right here on its threshold my adult life started. I was in a hurry to become an adult, and all summer never less than about five times a day, I looked in the closet to make sure that my new school uniform, ironed and gay was still hanging in there, waiting patiently for me. I thought I have never seen anything more beautiful than this outfit. And when I finally was allowed to put it on the first day of September, I was the happiest child in the world. Proudly raised my head with white bows in my hair and a school bag over my shoulder, in my new shiny shoes on a small heel, I walked beside my mom to meet my long-awaited dream.

At school I tried to be the first at everything, and was pleased to hear the praises of teachers. In horror I tried to cover the ink stains from nowhere on my apron with my bag, so that no one would notice, and no one could catch me on a failed attempt to finally be an adult. Mom just laughed at my guilty face and bitter tears. On the same day, we went to the store and bought me a new apron with a puffy lace that was even more beautiful than the previous one. Needless to say how much effort I made to keep such a beauty in its original state. Out of fear to ruin the dress I didn't play at recess with the other children in the yard, preferring to sit aside on the bench and watch as they had fun in the grass playing tag or hide and seek; or busied myself with viewing the pictures in a new colorful book my mother bought me.

Soon my classmates left any attempts to engage me in their vivacious activities, and ceased to pay any attention to me. It was my first life lesson, which came to me not as easily as any of the school ones. I learned how cruel people were to those who had the courage to show their difference from them, to stand out from the crowd, to be different. Hardest part was to understand that I would have to pretend - I would have to learn my role and play it like an actress in a movie, pretending to be a completely different person pretending to be one of them. While I was learning the eternal verities, I was alone. And being alone I was looking for someone similar to me, I was looking for someone who could replace me the world, I was looking for you.