Detached | Seungjin

Twelve

Seungmin stopped in his track making Hyunjin stop as well. He lowered his head and heaved a sigh, "Minji's father, huh."

Hyunjin panicked, "W-Was it a sensitive question? I'm sorry, you don't have to—"

"No, it's fine." Seungmin reassured. He looked up to the night sky, "It's just... I've never really talked about him before."

"What do you mean?"

Seungmin continued walking again, "It's just... I never really questioned who he is in the first place."

"So you..."

Seungmin sighed, "You see, Hyunjin... maybe you don't know this but I got into a horrible accident before."

I know that. Hyunjin said in his mind.

"I was in a coma for five months, and when I woke up, I don't even remember who my friends were. But, little by little, I was able to regain my memories. However... for some reason, I was never able to retrieve my memories with Minji's father."

"How... did you react then?"

"Hm... let's see. When I met Minji, I was really surprised to know that I have a daughter. Of course, to have a daughter, I'm sure she also has a father."

"And?"

"But then—" He sighed again, "It seems like her father doesn't want to commit to his daughter and partner, to his family."

That's not true.

"I don't really know why I can't remember him, though. If I was able to retrieve my memories with my friends, why can't I retrieve my memories of him?"

"You mean... you really have no memories of him? At all?"

"Hm... I do remember having one more person back in high school rather than Jisung, Felix, and their boyfriends. But other than that, nothing."

"Oh..." Hyunjin felt downhearted by Seungmin's response. He was expecting the latter to at least remember some of their happiest moments with each other. But no, he doesn't remember anything about him at all.

"I wonder why I don't remember anything about him..." Seungmin muttered. He then utters a chuckle, "Was it because he's not really that important to me?" He questioned. The grin in his face slowly disappeared, "Was it because... he was someone harsh to me?" And then his grin completely disappeared, "Or was it because... I loved him too much that his sudden disappearance traumatized me so much?"

Hyunjin fell into silence. He couldn't deny the pain he was feeling at that moment. Thinking about how Seungmin had thought of those things makes his heart ache.

Seungmin chuckled, "I'm sorry, just forget everything I said. I don't even know anything about him."

"If there is a chance... would you want to know anything about him?"

Seungmin breathes, "I... honestly don't know."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You see, I could always ask Jisung and the others about him if I want to. But I chose not to, I just think it's not worth my time. He left us, he left his daughter. If Minji's father is someone who can't commit to his own family, then I don't need someone like him in our life."

Pang.

That hurt even more to Hyunjin, to think that his love of his life doesn't want him in his life after what happened. He doesn't blame him though, he does admit that what he had done five years ago is something Seungmin never deserved.

"What if... that person truly loves you?"

Seungmin scoffed, "Love, huh? Now that you mention it, I do remember some feeling of love in him..." He muttered. "It's been five years since I last talked about him... but now, somehow... I do reminisce some feeling of love between us..." He stopped and chuckled, "What am I thinking? This is probably just a delusion."

"What if it's not?" Hyunjin suddenly asked making Seungmin flinch in surprise.

"I— uh..." He sighed, "I don't know. But if there was really some feeling of love between the two of us... then why did he leave?"

I'm sorry.

Seungmin turned to him and gave him a smile, "Let's stop talking about him, I really don't remember anything about my past with him. Maybe it's better to leave it that way. Maybe this whole amnesia of him happened... because it was meant to be."

Hyunjin nodded, deciding to let the topic go. After all, it might be uncomfortable for Seungmin too. So instead, he opened up about his daughter.

"How has life been with your daughter, then?"

Seungmin giggled, "Life is at its best since she came." He stated. "Being with Minji gives me such a beautiful feeling. But sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

"I sometimes wonder if I'm good enough to be called as her parent..."

Hyunjin gave him a smile and patted his head, "You are good enough. Trust me."

Seungmin nodded with a smile, "Someday, I'll be a surgeon. And when that time comes, I'll make sure to give Minji the best life anyone could ever wish."

"Minji is lucky to have you."

Seungmin chuckled, "Her father sure is missing a lot, isn't he?"

I indeed am... and I fucking regret it.

"Ugh, it's so cold." Seungmin uttered as he rubbed his hands.

Hyunjin did what had first came to his mind. He grabbed the latter's hands and squeezed it without even hesitating. After all, he used to do this back in high school whenever Seungmin was cold.

Seungmin was taken aback by Hyunjin's actions, but he can't deny the sudden warmth he had felt once their hands touch, so he decided to let it stay that way.

I'm definitely gonna make up for those five years that I've missed, Kim Seungmin.

* * * * *

"Where have you been?" Yeji asked as soon as Hyunjin entered their mansion.

"Just... somewhere." he replied, removing his coat and throwing it to the couch.

"You seem happy."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, "Fine. I just spent some time with Seungmin, okay?"

Yeji smirked, "Hm... so that's why."

Hyunjin removed his tie and sat on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh.

Yeji walked to him, crossing her arms with a worried expression in her face, "Oppa."

"Yeah?"

"I love that you're finally able to spend time with the person you love but... you know it's dangerous."

Hyunjin lowered his head and heaved a sigh, "You don't have to tell me that."

"I'm just reminding you. Maybe you're already forgetting the reason why we even came back to Korea. You know this is only temporary. After all..."

* * * * *

I'm kinda late but kinda early than my previous updates 🤧

Lots of love! <3