EXPOSURE | my story

MY STORY

TRIGGER WARNING ;;
this situation deals with the
concept of rape, suicide bait, and pedophilia.

i will be 100% serious in this book
unlike how my account portrays
itself. this is not a joke. this is not
me writing like a fanfic. im writing
based off my memory and the proof
that i've brought with me.

read at your own risk.
_________________________

Hello. I'm Jinnie, also known as Nini.
Jinnie is not my real name, please
keep that in mind, though understand
that I will not share my full identity for
personal reasons. I am fifteen years old
when I am writing this. I am a minor.

I joined this app in August 28, 2016. I was
eleven at the time, soon turning twelve. I was
not as educated as I am now. I did not
understand the concepts of homophobia, or
rape as I do now. Luckily, I had educated myself soon after I took a break from the app.

This app was my secret. It still is, though I've
let myself loose. I made many friends here, and I trusted a lot of people. This was my safe place to go to when I felt that I wasn't enough as it is. This is where I felt that I could get away from who I was and become someone better. Someone that can learn from the online world to help me improve on my real self.

I understood that I wasn't of age to be on the app itself, so I only told the people I trusted the most my real age. After all, I did not want to be kicked out of the place where I made most of my friends. Even so, I made myself the closest to my age as possible. I said I was 13. I was in no way legal enough to participate in sexual intercourse, and I rarely did either way.

I did not enjoy writing myself into smut. It was already a strange concept to me as it is, and I was too shy about it. I was uneducated on those types of things as I had been grown into a religious family that would not accept me if they even found my account here. There were times that I had practiced a bit to educate myself more on it and see what it was like, since I was interested in writing stories, but smut was not my cup of tea.

I had only gotten into roleplay after seeing others take part in it in games. I thought it was interesting and it seemed like fun. I was young anyway, so it would have been nice for me to experience those kinds of things at least once.

I created an OC named Bunnie. She was thirteen or so, and she had the some of the same aspects as me. She would get irritated and shy when complimented, and she loved a good storyline. Roleplaying as an OC seemed like fun to me at the time since I knew I wasn't the best at writing, and it was like a partnership of some sorts, where we could make things up as we go.

Roleplaying as Bunnie made me feel included and loved, not only as an OC but also as a person behind the screen. I can admit that if I had never been her, then I wouldn't be where I am today. She helped me make friends when I felt too shy to admit things to my own.

Though, she did attract people that weren't the best to me. People that would sexualize her and make me feel uncomfortable with myself. I would get DMs of people asking to play with me, and making me do things that I wasn't used to doing in my circle of friends.

I was only eleven though, nearing the age of twelve. I didn't know better. I didn't have anyone to go to because of the fear of being judged, so I dealt with it alone. It was the worst feeling I ever experienced.