December 10 , 2018 was the day I fell in love the day that made my life have meaning the day I was happy. That day wasn't meant to last long or forever new love will come new happiness will show its face...but where ...it never came
I never sat there and waited for it I thought it would happen on its own but it never did
One year with my love and I'm still happier then ever ..this happiness is my fear to let go to keep to be near
Happiness and love scares my heart and gives me anxiety and fear
December 10, 2019 anniversary date I moved away from my love which gave me panic
Panic of my fear of happiness
Cheating lying loyalty sex constantly went through my head
My love was mine and only mine...right?
Wrong my heart told me to leave but my love was mine I can't but I should
December 16, 2019 my birthday
I listen to my heart I left but kept my love close
New love came my new love my happiness?
Maybe this will ease my fear my anxiety my panic
It made it worse my December love had my heart and that was fear
My new love was gone I let it go the pain was numb but it hurt my December love stayed by my side for months March 2nd 2020 my newer love this love wasn't love it was mental abuse for me threats twords my life hatred formed in my heart and fear for my life made me stay
This wasn't love this was manipulation I can't get rid of...
My December love still stayed by my side my love that wasn't mine
April my December love and me were back together my love was mine once again but was my happiness?
June my December love let me go I'm numb to the feeling of love
What is love?
Love isn't mine love isn't real love isn't anything but a figment of our imagination to give us hope for something that we want ...love isn't for me love isn't my happiness.. pain is..
