Flowers For A Gardner

Chapter 3

Gardner decided that although he'd get to school early, he'd wait for class to begin somewhere other than at his desk. He knew now that Flower Girl would inevitably be seated at her desk, and there would be no polite way to avoid conversation with her otherwise. So he started timing his entry into the classroom right at the commencement of the class. True, this messed with his sense of responsibility, punctuality and homeostasis, but it was better than getting thrown off track by temptation.

The next Tuesday, he came dashing in to class just as the professor started lecturing. He felt sweaty, uncomfortable and rushed. It took him a few minutes to unpack his gear, line it up, settle down, and start listening to the professor. Even after he tried to train his mind on the lecturer's question about Pride and Prejudice, of whether it was better to marry for pragmatic reasons such as a secure social position or to avoid dying of destitution or to stay a spinster rather than marry without love, he couldn't keep his mind from drifting towards the woman sitting next to him and the yearnings he had for her.

"What do you think is more important in a marriage, Mr. Langway? Material security and stability or romantic love?" the teacher asked.

Gardner was shocked out of his reverie, not expecting to be called upon to comment on the one topic he felt least qualified to judge. He flipped his pen nervously and played for time. "Uhhhhm, well, that is, I guess... D-do you mean terms of the story or in my own life?"

The class laughed as if Gardner was a standup comedian. They seemed very entertained by what they thought was a witticism on his part. Gardner exhaled a breath of relief, feeling he'd dodged a bullet, considering he really was at a loss and was actually expressing genuine befuddlement.

The professor said "Well, I'm not going to pry into your love life, Mr. Langway, so let's just keep the conversation confined to Pride and Prejudice."

He responded "I think Lizzy was right to hold out against Mr. Collins's proposal. He's not worthy of her and she'd have been miserable with him. Even if it would have allowed her family to stay in their home when her father died and Mr. Collins inherited it. He's an awful person and it would have been too high a price for her to pay. Her friend Charlotte only married him so that she could move out of her parents' house and not die an old maid, and now she does everything she can to avoid speaking to him during the day because she dislikes him so much. That sounds like a nightmare to me. I'd always rather be alone than in miserable company."

"So you don't think being alone or lonely is per se a condition of misery?" the teacher asked.

"No, I don't. I do think that letting someone into your life who's not suited for you or who's going to hurt you is a lot worse," he said succinctly.

The teacher nodded her head and posited a question to another student. Gardner gave a sigh of relief that his time in the spotlight was over and that he seemed not to have made a fool of himself. Suddenly, a hand crept into his peripheral vision and scrawled something on his notebook page.

'I agree.'

He followed the hand back to Flower Girl's lap and looked up to her eyes. She gave him a smile and a quick wink and then directed her attention back down to her own notebook. Apparently, she was old school too and either didn't enjoy using a computer or, like Gardner, couldn't afford one. He noted this with favorable approval.

Gardner stuck to his guns and avoided speaking with Flower Girl when the class ended. He knew he only needed a few moments to wait her out before her anxiety would overtake her and she would need to evacuate the classroom. He felt guilty exploiting that weakness of hers, but he reasoned that it was for the best. Sure enough, after he took a few long moments to meticulously pack up all his belongings, she had left.