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Seokjin let out a shaky breath, hearing his mother praise his brother's achievements. He was happy for him, but he couldn't ignore the painful stab in his heart because he never experienced getting praises from his parents. Even if he was ranked first in class, joined all the clubs, straight A+ in every quarter, just to be noticed by his mother. He started to give up, lost all hope when the only one he cares about doesn't care about him. He didn't expect his education would be affected, one subject got B+.
And that time, his mother noticed him. But in the wrong time. He didn't know that the one mistake he did was engraved in his mother's heart. He tried to ace up his grades again, to erase his mistake, but his mother always would remind him he failed. Even if he succeeded most of it, that one mistake was never forgotten.
Why can't I be like my brother?
Why does he look so perfect in mother's eyes?
Maybe because it's him. It's easy to step on him, to replace him. He had only minimum of friends but most of them left him and found better friends. He always wonder what's in him that they don't care if he leaves.
I think it would be better if I leave. There's no point of living if all I have is bad luck to my mother. She deserves anyone but me.
Seokjin holds the knife, tightening his grip. His lips quivered and tears streamed down his cheeks.
Weak.
Whore.
Fake.
Useless child.
You deserve this.
Two-faced.
His mind went blank when he lifted the knife to his arm but a grip prevented him to. He was snapped back from his evil thoughts and dropped the knife on the sink. "Don't." taehyung whispers but stern.
The voices quickly dissolved as if they knew taehyung was there. Seokjin looks up at taehyung whose eyes held fear and concern. He didn't realize he was sobbing. In a blink, they were inside his room again. Seokjin cuddled up against taehyung's chest while he sobbed.
"You can cry until your eyes turn rossy. Till you broke down on your knees but never think of taking your life, kim seokjin. If they don't care about you, I do and I don't want to watch you take your life because of them. You are not what those thoughts say you are." taehyung plays with his locks and their hands intertwined against their chests.
"Take me, tae," seokjin whispers. "Far away from here. They won't notice me anyway. I just want to heal then I'll come back."
Taehyung nodded. It was for the best. Seokjin could listen to the voices and he won't be there to save him. He would be better with an angel but the only angel seokjin had was gone.
