𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓

Internally struggling

       My head aches as I try to complete the homework without completely stressing myself out. I could hear Boston editing our YouTube video, signalling that he was already finished his homework. Boston was always faster at finishing homework, homework gave me anxiety, I was always worried that my work wasn't enough.

      I was about to completely freak out until I heard my phone buzz, I looked over to see "Kes❤️would like to face-time" a small smile crept on my face as I pressed the answer button.

"Hey, what's wrong" Kesley said looking into my deep blue eyes. "How did you know something was wrong?" I asked curiously, "Brock, you've been my best friend since we were in diapers, do you really expect me to not know when somethings bothering you?" Kesley said questioning me.

I giggled at her sense of loyalty, "no of course not, I just wasn't showing any emotion" I said. "I can see it in your eyes that your stressed and tired" she said hitting everything that I was feeling in that current moment.

"It's school, it's really stressing me out and I'm worried that non of my work is good enough" I replied laying back into my beanbag chair. "Brock, your an amazing student, there is no need for you to loose sleep over something like that, now, go put on your comfy clothes and get in bed" Kesley demanded, making me giggle.

"Hey" I said getting her attention. "Thank you" she said looking at me with her bright blue orbs. "You don't need to thank me for telling the truth" she said making me smile. "Hey can you come over, since it's Friday?" I asked. I was never worried to ask Kesley to come over, but this time, it gave me butterflies.

I looked into her eyes once more, waiting for her answer. What is she didn't want to come? What if she was busy and I just made her feel bad. "Of course" she replied packing her things. "Oh, okay" I said trying to stop myself from smiling so widely.

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I waited about fifteen minutes before hearing my doorbell ring. I quickly got up and ran towards the door to see Kesley standing there with her huge beaming smile. With my silly grin on my face I jumped into her arms and hugged her tightly. "Well hello" Kesley said in a baby voice. I giggled at her adorable remark.

We stayed hugging for a good minute before we parted. "What do you wanna do?" I asked with my hands still around her waist. She was stroking my arms back and forth making anything stressful in my life to leave my confused head. "Why don't we go watch Netflix downstairs?" She asked.

"Of course" I said removing my arms from around her waist so we could go downstairs. She followed closely behind me as we walked down the stairs. Once we got downstairs I sat on the couch and Kesley sat nice and close like always.

"What should we watch?" Kesley asked. "We could watch Lady Bird?" I asked, she nodded her head and sat back.

We were watching the movie, when I mindlessly find myself running my fingers through Kesley's hair, she didn't seem to mind. It was sort of relaxing for me, it kept my hands occupied which meant I didn't have to worry about digging my nails into my palms, sometimes even causing them to bleed.

Kesley knew about this, I did it quite often, I also knew today they were particularly bad because I was so stressed out earlier. I felt Kesley take my hand from the back of her head, she examined it. "Brock you have got to stop doing this to yourself, here, give me both of your hands?" She requested, I hesitatingly gave her my other hand, which was significantly worse than the one she was already holding.

"Come with me" she says pulling me into the bathroom, she closed the door and gestured for me to sit on the counter, so I did what I was told. I sat there staring at my hands while she searched for the first aid kit.

"Give me your hands" she demanded. She took my hands caressing them with her thumbs. "This is going to sting okay?" She said looking up at me. She carefully took a Q-tip and dipped it into some alcohol. She slowly rubbed the Q-tip onto my palms. I whimpered in pain as it bled into my skin.

"I know, I know" she says throwing the Q-tip in the garbage. "I worry about you" she says hugging me. "I know you do, but I'm fine" I say.

She put some bandages on my hands and they started to sting a little less. We walked back to the couch and sat down and peacefully waited for the other to start some conversation. "I'm sorry that I sometimes over step, I just want you to be okay" she says with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"You don't need to apologize, I just wish my parents would understand" I said looking at her. "They will, you just need to talk with them, they will understand eventually." She says reassuringly. She laid her head on my shoulder making the butterflies in my stomach to go wild. This has never happened before, this was new.