Ingénue \\ mairi

quattordici

just realized people who haven't been to the UK have never experienced the joys of ribena 😧
enjoy~

kairi's pov.

Mattia and I sat on the balcony, staring into the sunset, and the garden. We ate fruit custards, and some juice.

Although we sat in different chairs, we still held hands and i felt close. He had wrapped me in his silk sheets, making sure i was okay.

I still felt dirty for what happened, and i felt like it was my fault. I should've gone with mattia, and stayed by him like he told me to.

it made me want to hide myself. sit in a corner and just slowly rock back and forth.

Time passed and eventually mattia had suggested we gone to bed.

"do you want to say goodnight to your mum? i'm sure she is worried." Mattia asked, before laying me down.

"yes." I mumbled.

I felt like i was hushed, and that i should never speak unless spoken to.

Mattia held my hand, as we walked to the seating area were my mum and mattia's mum were.

"oh darling!" She stood and ran to me. "are, are you okay?"

"i'm fine mama. mattia made me feel better." I smiled, fake. of course.

she raised an eyebrow, then looked to mattia.

I blushed a crimson color, "no mama! not in that way!" I whined.

"just making sure. now you should get some sleep. we have to get up early to go to the shop tomorrow." She smiled at me, unaware of the intense guilt building in my body.

"i will. good night mum. and to you too." I told mattias mum, as mattia spoke to her.

Mattia and I rushed back to the bed, and once he was asleep i rolled over to the other side of the big bed.

Moonlight slipped through the curtains, and i stared at the shard like lights.

An hour had passed and i still wasn't asleep.

an hour turned to two, and two into three.

it was late, and i still laid. i had tried going closer to mattia, and turning away from the light, but it didn't matter.

i had too much guilt inside of me.

don't sleep. what if they come again? you need to be prepared. you can't make it your fault even more. they're coming, those footsteps? they belong to them. it's not worth it to sleep if they're just gonna take you again. then mattia will have another thing against you.

These thoughts filled my mind, making me unable to even want some sleep.

I needed something to comfort me, something soft, and relaxing.

My eyes lit up as i thought about the sheets. They were still on the balcony. I rushed outside to get them, trying to be completely silent.

I melted as i held them close to my body. They reminded me of mattia, and the comfort he brought me. I laid back down, still unable to fall asleep, but feeling more comfortable.

I watched as the light turned from soft to more bold. i hadn't gotten a second of sleep.

before mattia woke up, and moved closer to him, holding the thin sheet between us.

He groaned softly, and stretched in the bed. I gazed up at him, you don't deserve him.

I frowned as he opened his eyes, but changed my expression when he looked at me.

"how long have you been staring at me?" His voice was deep from the sleep, and he put a hand on my cheek.

i wanted to say, "practically all night because i didn't sleep at all."

but i ended up saying, "only a few minutes, i just woke up too."

"oh okay, on a different note, how are you feeling? do you want anything?"

"just to lay here with you." I snuggled closer, feeling closed off that i couldn't tell him what i really wanted.

idfk maybe you could fuck me into next week? month? idk.

My thoughts were all over the place.

Mattia clearly noticed, his pupils shrinking and eyes narrowing. "did you even sleep at all last night?"

I put my fingers on the dark, puffy eye bags. "it's weird sleeping in a new place every few weeks." I shrugged, and smiled.

"okay..let's get ready. we have to get you to the shops."

i think the weirdest part about this whole thing was that my thoughts were telling me that i needed to stay away from mattia because i didn't deserve him. but another part of me was telling me that i needed to be next to him, or in his sight at all times.

Mattia dressed me, putting me in a similar outfit to him. the infamous polo and khakis.

"i don't know, i just thought you might want to match with me." He cheesily smiled at me, and pinched my cheeks. "jesus christ you're adorable."

"i wish i could say the same about you." I joked, making him laugh.

"fine i take it back, and give the compliment to myself. because obviously i am very adorable."

I genuinely laughed, putting a hand on my knee because i almost fell over.

"now let's go, my mum will kill me if we're late." Mattia rushed, and pulled me out of the room.

"wait! i have to grab something." I ran to grab the sheets for the car ride.

"why? we're going to a place with dirt and grossness.."

"it's for the ride silly. it makes me feel better." I giggled, and skipped down the stairs to a car.

Before we got in, mattia pulled me to the side, "if it ever gets to be too much, we'll go get a coffee and go home." He said, his arms on my waist. He pressed kisses to the top of my head. but my head was only filled with confusing thoughts

oh man this boy has me wrapped around his finger.

tf has? change that to had, because you don't deserve that."

oh god.

// 989

considering on getting a boob job. idk i just want bigger tits.

also uh, i'll just say now that, kairi associated the sheets with the comfort of mattia. it makes him feel relaxed, when his thoughts were messing with them.

but that's not the only reason they're important :) but that comes later.

kith <3
-kemi :)