What Happened in Florida

you need to change

    I stood on the tiny porch of my apartment smoking a cigarette and looking at the three stars in the New York sky. I thought about how many more stars were out there that I couldn't see because of the city lights. Sometimes I wish the city would sleep.
The music bled through the porch door as someone slid it open. The person stood next to me. I didn't have to look at him to know who he was.
    "Why are you here, Will?" I asked after blowing a cloud of smoke in his direction.
    He coughed. "Because your roommate is throwing a party and said I could come."
    "Yeah but why did you come? I know you hate parties."
    "Obviously I wanted to see you, Tina. Is it a crime to want to see my friend after she's been away for three months? You were away longer than you should've been, and you didn't answer my calls. I thought..." He paused and I felt him looking at me, searching for the parts of me that are no longer there. "You didn't even call me when you got back. When John called to invite me, I asked if he heard from you and he said that you had been home for a week. Why didn't you tell me you were back?"
    His words weighed down the air around me. I put out my cigarette so that I could breathe. "Well, before I left you told me that you didn't want to talk to me again until I changed. And I haven't changed. So I figured you didn't want to hear from me."
    He scoffed. "Yeah but obviously I wanna know if you're alive and safe!"
    "Well I'm sorry that I'm such a shitty person that I can't be bothered to call my best friend and tell him that I'm back from ruining people's lives."
    After a moment, he said, "What happened in Florida?"
    I looked at him for the first time. He looked cleaner and more put together than when I last saw him.
    "Are you sober?" I asked him.
    "Don't change the subject."
    "I'm not telling you what happened in Florida"
    He sighed. "I've been sober for two months."
    I didn't know how to respond. I was proud of him, but also mad at him, and a little ashamed. Was he able to finally get sober because I wasn't there to make him get drunk with me?
    "Maybe I should go back to Florida, then," I said as I crushed the cigarette with my shoe.
    "Tina..."
    "What do you want me to say? That I'm happy for you? I can't be happy about anything right now."
    "I decided to get sober because I got into an accident while I was drunk."
    "Oh shit, are you okay?"
    "I was fine, but I hit a dog."
    "Fuck."
    "It was a huge wake up call. You know how much I love animals. I think about that dog every night. It didn't have a collar, I don't know if it had an owner, but I'm still so upset about it."
    I looked up at the sky and shook my head. I could've told him that what he did wasn't bad compared to what I'd done. I could've been a good friend. But instead I said, "That poor dog. I wonder if someone's still waiting for him to come home. But he never will."
    "Wow that makes me feel better."
    "Maybe I should hit a dog so I could get sober, too."
    He cringed. "Please don't say shit like that. But yeah you should definitely try sobriety."
    "Fuck you."
    He laughed coldly. "You know what Tina? I can't do this anymore. We fight, we do reckless things together, we go on benders... I like you, but I don't like the person I am when I'm with you... It's like you have quicksand in you, and I have quicksand in me, and when we're together it pulls us both down."
    "Then why the fuck are you here, Will?" I yelled.
    "To tell you that you need to change," he said calmly.
    Before I could respond, he went to the door. "Call me when you're ready to talk about what happened in Florida," he said as he slid the door open. I tried to call after him, but the music drowned out my voice and I was left alone screaming.