He was cold. Not in the literal sense. He felt detached from his emotions and his surroundings. "What?" he asked, "No!" he felt like his ears had stopped working.
"I know this is very hard to hear, and quite a bit sudden so try to stay calm."
Calm. What is calm? He didn't know the feeling. He was dissociating, floating in numbness.
"Garett are you there?" Rae asked, snapping him back to reality.
"How could this happen? I don't understand!"
"She had a heart attack and was home alone."
"That doesn't make sense, she's only 32!"
"She wasn't that healthy and it ran in her family"
"Are you saying she deserved to die--"
"No! Not at all, I am just trying to help you process this so you can move on"
"Move on! How heartless are you? She's our friend, and you just sprung this on me!"
"I'm sorry Garett, she was a good person and I'm sad she's gone, maybe we can go get some lunch and--"
"I can't believe you Rae! You're acting as if she died years ago instead of an hour ago, what is wrong with you!"
"I just want to be strong for you" Rae said, touching his arm.
"What is this? Is this some sort of prank? Because that would be messed up. I know you have a fucked up sense of humor but that's way out of line. Pretending Kate died--"
"I'm not pretending, her funeral is next Saturday. Why would I lie to you Garett? You're my best friend"
"I can't deal with this right now, i've gotta go" he said and got in his car and sped off.
The next few weeks he spent with a bottle in his hand. He smelled but didn't seem to care. He had 7 voice mails from Rae begging him to let her see him and 2 from work letting him know he was no longer employed. He had missed the funeral and couldn't even look at a picture of Kate without breaking everything he owned.
The day he ran out of booze was the worst one yet. Sobriety made him confront his emotions and he wasn't ready. He binged on food, cried in the shower and slept for a long time. When he woke up he decided to get more alcohol he found Rae on his front porch and immediately slammed the door in her face. "Go away Rae, I don't want to talk to you"
"Come on Garett, I know things have been hard for you but I can help"
"How can you possibly help me?"
"I can be there for you. I know she's gone, but you're not alone"
"I am alone. You don't understand because you have no emotions."
"Of course I have emotions. I care about you, and I can show you if you let me."
He opened the door and Rae met his hurt gaze with one of surprise. His house was completely trashed and the stench was unbelievable, but she was more surprised he opened the door at all. She went inside and talked with Garett until the next morning. He cried on her shoulder and then fell asleep.
When he woke up he found that Rae had cleaned his house. It wasn't 'good as new' but it was a start. They went grocery shopping together and picked up his final check. They spent the rest of the day repairing the things he broke and their friendship.
They were fixing Garett's bedroom door when he heard Rae say, "She looks so pretty in this picture."
Garett froze and slowly turned around. It was a picture of the 3 of them in high school, back when he didn't believe in haircuts, Rae had braces, and Kate curled her hair every day.
"I miss her" they both said in unison.
They finished fixing the door and Rae started to leave.
"Rae" Garett said
"Yeah?"
"Thanks, for being there"
"Thanks for letting me be there"
