Noble Creek High,
Senior year,
Present dayI ran away yet again.
I hate myself for it. I hate that couldn't face my problems head-on. I hate that I suck at confrontations. I hate that I was so damn weak.
I ran away and realized that I came back to the same place I was reading Cupid's Match at. I sat down and hid my face in my palms as I tried to calm my trembling body.
Hunter's words let the horrid memories of my break-up with him resurface. The one I tried to forget desperately. The one that always haunted me in my sleep.
Every night I wish it didn't happen. I wished that the Hunter who broke my heart wasn't real. I wished that day didn't exist. I wished I never met him. I wished I never fell in love with him. But my wishes would never come true as the harsh reality dawned upon me every single night I wake up in horror. And then I would cry myself back to sleep until I had no more tears left in me.
To say that the break-up scarred me for life would be an understatement. Everything changed that day and I could no longer be the same person I used to be. I lost a huge part of myself and I blame myself for letting him affect me that much. I started living life aimlessly because everything became meaningless.
Trusting people became one of the hardest tasks for me after what he did to me. I couldn't give my trust to someone so easily anymore. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. That's why I couldn't talk to anyone except the twins and my mom. The three most precious people in my life. I didn't need anyone else.
Nina and Newt played a huge part in helping me recover. I didn't recover fully but I was getting to it with their endless help. Nina thinks that my already affected mental health deteriorated after the break-up and told me to go to therapy. I refused because I didn't want to talk about the whole thing ever again.
But Nina didn't take my no for an answer and encouraged me to go daily. At this point, I just acted like I listen to her whenever she starts talking about it. I'm pretty sure she knows that I don't listen, but she still tries anyway. I love and appreciate her for that, and I truly feel like such a bad friend, but I really can't go.
Newt was always treating me with unhealthy snacks and always tries to make me laugh. Even though I gave him a hard time, he never gave up. I didn't deserve whatever he did for me because of what I did. I told him countless times to stop but he always says it was okay. Nevertheless, I will always carry the guilt of using him.
And then there was mom who never stopped treating me differently. She treated me like how she treated me before the break-up. She made me feel normal. She knew by heart that was what I needed the most.
Everyone in school started looking at me like I was the girl who got her heartbroken by the scary bad boy. They treated me like I was some fragile and sad princess. I hated it. Their looks just reminded me of how pathetic I was. How pathetic I've become.
YOU ARE READING
Beautiful Nightmare (The Beautiful #1) ✓
RomanceHera Hawkins gets herself locked in the school library and that's not even the worst part. Because she is stuck with her arch-enemy aka ex-boyfriend Hunter Knight and she has to survive the entire night alone with him. ...