My Baby Daddy 🖤

One.

That familiar face sprung up on my tv screen as I tirelessly flicked through the channels. My finger immediately paused on the button. My eyes unable to tear away from him. My heart rapidly thumped against my chest, leaving me short of breath. Something that would occur every time this happened, it was becoming harder and harder to avoid him.

Watching him was never easy. But knowing I was keeping something that would drastically change his life forever, was even harder.

He continued chatting to the host of the show, being quizzed on their upcoming and eagerly anticipated new album. A smile stretched my lips at how he would be the one to jump in and answer all the questions, never giving the others a chance to speak.

Something Timmy did. He liked to take charge in situations. For a young boy, he sure was strong minded and liked to be heard. His confidence was always booming. Something he clearly inherited from his father.

That's exactly how he was the night I met him out in Manchester one night. That night. I think his cocky and confident behaviour somehow made him more attractive to me.

I was obliterated. Being left on my own with far too many wine spritzers and tequila in my system. My friends had left me on the dance floor, dancing carelessly, albeit drunkenly and sluggishly, but still, I was having a whirl, quite literally. Until I lost my balance and found myself hitting the deck and taking someone down with me.

I remember staying slumped on the floor, just laid out on top of him. Neither of us able to move for a few minutes, just in hysterics at what had happened.

He seemed just as intoxicated as me. And found the whole situation as hilarious as me.

And as the night went on, more alcohol was consumed and my memory became more and more hazed.

I remember he told me he was in some band that he'd been a part of for over ten years. A dare say he introduced me to his band mates. I remember one being strangely tall. But never had I expected to hear them being introduced on BBC Radio 1 a couple of days later. Because my mind allowed me to think they were still at the practicing in someone's garage stage. Imagining them going off and auditioning for X Factor or something. Not being a multi-selling, famous icon already with a huge fan base to follow.

And knowing that made the following weeks impossible for me. Because when those two lines came up positive on that test, it meant I was not only trapped, but now alone. Because Matthew Healy wasn't just some normal, average Joe. He was a celebrity. Famous and out of reach.

So nothing changed for him.

I gave in before it even started. And decided to do this alone.

That was over three years ago. And now, more than ever, Matty Healy needn't know he has a son.