Out of the Darkness~ The Guild Leader Chronicles Book Five

Chapter Eight

Out of the Darkness

Eight

Lexie

As the door shuts behind Valerio, I wait until it's fully closed before letting out my anger. The scream is loud and so forceful that I feel something in my throat crack, causing it to become sore. I'm thankful for the spell around our room that makes it impossible for anyone to hear what's going on inside. Valerio's words cut like a knife straight to my heart; and I thought his isolation was the worst thing he's done lately. How does he think I'm the selfish one? Waiting to have kids may have been solely my decision, but he supported it!

Is it so wrong of me to want time for Valerio and me to simply have a life before we add children? Yes, we have known we were each other's mates pretty much our whole lives, but we weren't mated. Now that we are after so long, I just want time for the two of us. I know who Valerio is, but I don't know who Valerio is at the same time.

When I came back to life just weeks ago, I had thought we would've had this argument then. I assumed that when he found out about the spell on me, he would be pissed, yet he was telling me that we'll have kids whenever I'm ready. I get that a lot has happened in a short amount of time, but everything going on just makes my resolve harder. Having Valerio's children has never been off the table; I just want time before that happens.

He's right on one point though. I don't know what career I want, but I know I don't want to be a mother at such a young age. I graduated high school only six months ago and have been married for barely less than that. Getting married so quickly had been one of the reasons I asked Dad to put the spell on me in the first place. Valerio had waited almost two decades to claim me, and when he finally did, I didn't want him to suffer anymore.

I'm not ready for kids, and Valerio knows this! He claims his sudden desire to have kids is because we're not promised tomorrow, and although I believe him, it's too weak of an excuse to have the spell taken off. He's right though. We're not promised tomorrow, and that makes me even more scared to give in. He seemed almost positive that he would be the one to die if I happened to be pregnant, but what if it's me? How could I do that to him? I get that he wants me to have a piece of him left behind if he were to die, some sort of legacy, but what if I'm the one to die? How would he handle life, being a Guild Leader, if he loses me and an unborn child?

He's already losing it over Uncle Cauis. I don't even want to think of how he would react to losing me and a baby.

My breathing is rapid as my chest rises and falls quickly. I'm so pissed at Valerio that I can't even remember what I was planning on doing today. I've been patient with him ever since he came back to life, even allowing him to be as rough with me as he pleases; have I been too lenient? Do I need to remind him of just who his mate is?