I remember my blonde, wiry aunt throwing leaves around, which she had gathered because she had a "thing" for leaves as it were. All I knew is she spent hours looking at a book of leaves in her tower. The leaves were sprinkled and dusted everywhere, and created a natural and organic mess all over the house. She was someone who kept about 10 birds and 15 hens, clucking merrily as they had found someone who ruffled their feathers every morning, and gave them a lot of attention. She did steal the eggs, though, and fried them in front of them, but alas, they still tagged along. She used a makeshift flute partly made of eggshells and wood from fallen trees. She was ethical that way. As we walked down her drive the leaves were crunching dryly, and we heard the sound of the flute and birdsong. There, she would sing the Poop Tune.
I stopped where I was, although I could hear the booming voice talking about how we were "getting the game on" before having found food, inevitably Bean Root, it seems to be growing in large amounts far away from the toilets. The cameras flashed and now I stood defiantly towards one. "A world without poop..."
I began. "Well, well, well, we have come so far. Far away in the Capitol I know your stomachs are aching for some nice food, but you only buy poop-minimizing watery foods. The fiber tax. People starve. Low stock because of it, you would all be fucked if you guys weren't printing free money at home. Toilet sessions limited, otherwise society will turn you in as a pooper, although they know everyone actually does so. More and more advertising: "this will make you poop less", but actually ineffective. Children being told to go to detention if they are suspected to poop. Literally no one working in the sewage works, and building toilets designed to flush minimal things. What does this bring, other than clogged toilets? Why are you doing this? I poop, we all poop. Fuck the president's poop deprivation."
Nothing happens. It looks like the camera stops flashing, and so I keep walking. We trudge through a swamp, before Nathaniel does a huge shit, and I guard. We saw Fliss later on and she asked us where the toilet was. Nathaniel didn't want to tip her off, the inhumane slug, but I told her it was about 3 foot away and she'd been walking in 5 meter circles for an hour. We abandon her, go and find shelter underneath a hooded tree, and wait til the next day.
The next day a bunch of helicopters come down. The whirring overhead startled us. We sit up in the grass, and see the door open. A brave man exits, a heroic cape flapping virulently. He says, "one minute." He disappears mysteriously.
"Where did he go?" cried Nathaniel.
He seems to be pooping. He comes back, and gives us a nod and wink. "There's more where that came from". We smiley warmly at his newfound confidence. We nod and wink back. He lifts both of us and chucks us into the helicopter. "You were impressive," he said. "Your parents saw what was happening and saw the uprising and told us to go get you."
"Yeah." I said.
We flew over the panoramic view, over the wild creepy creatures and Bean root. We smiled at the other passengers. It was over. Further in, some other contestants were grinning at us. Two other helicopters hovered past, one holding a seemingly screaming Fliss, the blue streak in her hair turned into a muddy brown, probably due to the Capitol hair dyes absorbing all the mud and dirt. Terrible product. We relaxed as we flew over the valleys, and we were soon near mainland. We finally slowed and landed on a shiny metallic looking pad. I stuck my leg out and waited for a cheer. Nathaniel looked sheepishly as he did the same thing, but apparently we weren't celebrities and he was a dude so it wasn't cool. The man looked at us with an odd peace over his features and said we'd have to walk further before we saw my rebels. As we walked further, we saw the ginormous sleek highrises, metallic pink, neon green and silver. The highways seemed impossibly intertwined and there was this rather artificial looking green hill which also had a bit of a metallic flavour to it. Crowds were forming and people were burning signs and Capitol flags and emblems. Toilet paper that could be mistaken as craft paper for obvious reasons was being brandished. We saw several kids in schools' "craft projects" with the same toilet paper.
Unfortunately, the sewage men were to be hired more. Nathaniel smiled, but didn't get much buzz, other than a couple of magazine photos. He pasted them on the wall. We were famous, and soon the Capitol was chugging out all sorts of toilet products: bidets, toilet paper, normal functioning toilets. Restaurants and other commercial place will have had toilets again, you didn't have to sneak behind a bush (which would get you fined or arrested possibly). We all sat down in a line and shat.
