me in the rain

1

  Honestly, I've grown but I dunno how much i've actually changed. It's seems like yesterday I was scrolling on wattpad for a stupid fanfic about BTS or something. Like, when's the last time I took my time to listen to them anymore.

  I feel like using wattpad again is helping me reconnect with my past self, but it's kinda hard to do that when wattpad literally gives you an ad every chapter. It's kinda hard you know?

  Also, since when did I have to play for half of the stories on this app, or a membership.

   Off of that rant, anyways, I honestly remember writing very shitty fanfictions because I had horrible grammar.

  I literally have all of them privated now but reading them makes me question myself.

re-reading then literally makes me ask myself, " where is my confidence to post shit like this now"
how could I could possibly I read the draft and still think it was ok to post. agh. I'm getting shivers.

  also all of the chapters were no longer than 160 words because I had no brain capacity to write anything longer.

  I had my friend help me correct my grammar as well. Every chapter would be a new correction for them. It was kinda embarrassing honestly. That was the old days though, they don't even talk to me anymore.(You know who you are, I am literally still here)

On that note, friends, where are they now? Some of them don't even text me anymore. Most of them are dry af. It's kinda been hard to keep a stable mentally when all my therapists are my friends. A large half of   haven't talked to me since the quarantine, and I literally still here, I exist you know?

  I wanna have a cool conversation with one of my middle school friends but they all seem so busy. I don't know what they're doing (they're probably asleep or smthn) but it would be nice to engage with each other some time. I know, I know with quarantine it's hard to do anything with friends, but we could play roblox, (hah roblox) or go to the park and skate, or mail each other and act like pen pals.

  I know I might seem desperate for attention, but who's going to read this rant book anyways. I just need to find a way to keep my mind off of the current situations right now. I am super stressed out about things, and I don't know why. Every little thing is ticking me off. I'm going crazy.

If you want to hmu, hmu i'm here :)

   I don't want my rants to be so long so i'm going to wrap thing off.

Sitting in the rain does not make you the main character, it makes you a loser that's wet.