That Time I Kissed You Goodbye

Chapter 1

   When I was in grade school, I was the self-proclaimed black sheep of the class. Not that I was clumsy, mean nor eccentric. I (my family actually) were the 'only' Filipinos to have ever lived in the island of Santa Lucia, a few miles west of San Diego, California. And to top that, I wasn't very good with English. They knew me as the "Asian girl" for obvious reasons.

    I don't know if most people know this for a fact, California has big Filipino communities all over the state. By a lot, I mean, really a lot. Unfortunately, we just happened to be in none of those. Cue huge sigh. So you could probably imagine the predicament I was in. It was like being a newborn all over again. Baby steps* baby steps. My BFF since college, Chelsea Dunham told me that, "You're overreacting. You should have thought of it as a do-over babe", when I recounted to her my most embarrassing memory as a kid.

   Back in Manila, I was studying in my room when we received a phone call from 'Papa', who was in Singapore at the time as a structural engineer. He told us an amazing news. My father received an offer. He said it was an opportunity of a lifetime. He gets to have his dream job plus the whole family in the same city.

   We flew shortly, after sorting our affairs then settled in a town called Sommersville. There I was, this small asian girl with pigtails when I first came to class. Plus, the incoherent words in her attempts to introduce herself. On the positive side, they picked up my name from my monologue.

   Still, the whole thing did not go well. I came home ugly crying that afternoon. My mom who was unpacking and arranging our stuff, hugged me and wiped the snot off my face until my wailing subsided.

   Mom, in a soothing voice: "Anak, tahan na, please?" (Honey, please stop crying)

   I tried. But it's as if somebody broke a pipe and the water just kept falling. It was only an hour later that I felt better because my mom bribed me with my favourite goodie, M&M's, the one with the peanuts in them.

   Although difficult at the beginning, eventually I learned to speak English fluently and did my best to live the American dream.

   Reaching middle school, my life was a lot better. I became best friends with two of the craziest people I know, Sidney "Sid" Smith (we call her the diva—she tends to talk in superlative) & Bartemus Mcladden (the troublemaker—as his dad 'fondly' called him when he accidentally crashed his Impala at their mailbox. It was during one of thos curious adventures of his, unfortunately it was how to drive his dad's car). To us he's just "Art"—the maniac.

   I survived middle school because of them. Gone were my "Asian girl" days. I became a part of the "Clowns" instead. Not that it's any better but I wasn't alone anymore. That was enough for me. What's not enough for me though, was the minimal sight of my ultimate crush—Alex O'Connor, same year as me but in a different class. I wasn't sure if he knew me but I always felt like he was hiding from me. I hardly ever catch him in the hallways or at lunch break. It's like he knew exactly when and where to hide when I'm around. Of course I don't go around hunting him like a predator. Okay, that sounded defensive but honestly it was not like that.  But it's not that he knew I liked him.

   I grinned. He eventually did, I thought sheepishly.

   Before the end of middle school, something happened with my family. My mom found out my dad was cheating on her with his colleague one weekend. She only found out because the woman came knocking at our door, telling her she was pregnant. I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the kitchen when it happened. I remember hearing my mom's anguished cry, my dad's loud footsteps coming down the stairs and then my mom screaming that I go to my room.

   On Monday morning, mom told me to say goodbye to my friends in school because we're moving. I cried. That did not stop mom of course. I hated her at first for taking me away from my friends but I eventually understood her later on. She went to school with me to inform the admin of my departure. I remember entering class that day with red puffy eyes. Sid and Art ran to hug the life out of me. I cried more. It was during lunch break that I finally mustered the courage to tell them that I was moving the next day and I might not be able to see them in the long future. They cried this time. I cried with them too.