𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡//𝙃𝙖𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

chap.6

'𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 '

After Haechan told me that his parents will be getting a divorce and that it was final. It kinda broke my heart.

One month later

I go to school today, with now my regular makeup, regular everyday outfit, which was mini skirts and mini shirts.

Pretty girls hanged out with me after they found out me and Haechan were close friends, i was kinda shocked, not only me but the whole campus was, they kept asking personal stuff and told me to hangout with them after class definitely agreed.

We hanged out after class, they would go to picnics, and they were vegetarians and they told me i should become one, so i did,they also went to arcades with pretty hot boys from schools,you know it was kind of sad they would only go their because of the boys and not  the games, i was officially one of the pretty girls now, they said.

But the only that didn't change me was going to the auditorium, i still love it there.

After hanging out with the pretty girls I became this new entire person. 

My own parents can't even recognize me.

"Dasom you are a what now?"
"A vegetarian mom"
"You love cheeseburgers though-"
"Well i loved them" i emphasized the d.
"We can't do barbecues anymore" my dad teared up
"Dad stop being a drama queen"
"Did you just call me a drama queen-"

Turns out these pretty girls have their own vocabulary words, I don't really understand them, but it's cool i guess.

Right now I'm currently writing in my journal, in the auditorium. Honestly that time I comforted Haechan seemed like such a vivid memory.

"Hey dasom" oh god it's Haechan.

"Hey haechan" i greeted back

"Can i tell you something"

"Yes sure i nodded"

"You have changed a lot." He told me

"I notice that too haechan, i'm not a dummy" i laugh at him "oh and you too haechan you've changed a lot" He stays quiet. He did change a lot.

"I'm gonna leave" Haechan slowly walks to the exit

"wait!"

"What is it again Dasom"

"Haechan,am i not a pretty girl yet?"

"What?"

"Am i a pretty girl now?"

"I don't know Dasom, are you? With this whole new person, i think not"

"Haechan, do you know when you told me, you liked pretty girls, my confidence just vanished, just like dust, i lost myself because of you! I wanted to be like those pretty girls, i wanted to have their small waist, pretty face, pretty outfits, perfect friend groups that only hang out with hot guys , i started to fucking starve myself,counted my calories,even became a fucking vegetarian,like what the fuck, because of you, my feelings for you, it controlled me, it told me that you love haechan so change yourself for him, the other pretty girls started talking to me and telling me all of this kind of shit so i can be called a pretty girl in school, i was waiting for you, i was waiting for you to call me your such a pretty girl dasom but guess what you didn't, i basically wanted to just die, just because of you, it's all useless, what I'm doing right now, i fucking lost myself because of you"

Haechan just stood their and said.
"I'm sorry dasom"

I lost myself because of him.
I don't want to be a pretty girl anymore, i want my old self again.
But he still-

You know what, nevermind. I'll just go back to being my old miserable self, rather then be with those pretty girls.