Me

My younger self

I've decided that I'm going to write each chapter on a specific thing and try my hardest not to go on a tangent which I seem to do a lot

So, I've always been a happy kid. I was that person that whenever I went anywhere I always came away with a new friend, didn't matter what language they spoke or what they looked like, they become my best friend in that 10 minutes of play. Now I'm older, I'm not like that anymore but I suppose it's something I've grown out of doing or maybe because growing up actually highlights some of the bad bits in people rather than the good. In primary school, I had many friends, well I'm not sure if I would call them friends. Because of my nature of talking and being more confident than others, I would always be the one who got asked to go ask a teacher for someone or go do this or do that because someone else didn't want to do it. It also meant that if I had something special that day, everyone would magically become my friend because they wanted it. If I didn't have anything then I would spent the time by myself or just sitting in silence listening to what people would be saying. People sometimes forget that I'm around, they forget that I can listen as well so I know things that people don't realise I know. Which is a blessing and a curse. Friendships have changed over the years which is expected but if I really think about it, I've lost a whole lot more than I've gained. I try being the person, that people can come to in a crisis but it's like I chase off more people rather than actual help them. I get that everyone makes new friends as they grow up and people change as they become more sure of themselves but everyone just seems to leave me and doesn't seem to return which is a hard truth to face. I used to think I was helpful but now I just feel as though I'm a pain