Twisted fate

FIVE

“Honey, look at me,” Martha put her hand under his chin and lifted his head up. “What’s going on? What did she accuse you of?”
The tears Ben had desperately been fighting back since he came home came pouring out. Like the typical man he was, he tried to hide his pain but Martha knew him too well. She moved closer and embraced him.
“Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it honey.” She told him.
Martha waited for him to calm down and when he finally did, he looked her in the eye and finally told her.
“Rape!?” Martha was in deep shock. “She accused you of rape?”
“I never did anything like that to her Martha. I would never touch my daughter like that. Please, please…you have to believe me. No matter how drunk I got, such thoughts never even crossed my mind. I promise you Martha….please, say something.”
Ben, Ben,” she put her hand over his lap. “Relax, I wasn’t quite because I doubt you. Rape? You?” she laughed. “I was just shocked that she would accuse you of something like that. Why did she do that?”
Ben looked relieved upon confirming his wife’s trust in him. “She said it was the only way to ensure they adopted her instead of just leaving her some money and sending her back to me. She wanted to have the kind of life they gave their son.”
“Wow,” was all Martha could manage.
“I don’t know what to do Martha. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this?” He got up from the bed. “My own daughter accused me of rape and physically abusing her because she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.
“If before I didn’t know just how terrible a father I was, now I am more than convinced that I deserved to die instead of Tasila.”
Martha got up and went to stand in front of him. “Don’t say that honey, not even as a joke. Luyando was in a messed up situation but she had no right to accuse you of those things, no matter how upset or hurt she was.”
“She threatened me, said that if I tried to contact her or her parents, she will spread the news that I am a rapist.”
“But we both know that’s not true.” Martha said.
“It’s my word against hers,” he said. “And who can doubt the word of a ten year old? What will happen to Tasha and Alex if Luyando goes through with her threats? I don’t want my children to live through the stigma of having a rapist for a father. Society is very cruel Martha. No one will care about the truth or even bother to search for it.”
“What if I try to talk to her? Do you think she would agree to meet with me?”
“I doubt it,” Bernard said. “She was so upset by the fact that I have a family now. I was not a good father to her and she most probably dislikes it that I managed to turn my life around after she was gone. She would have preferred it if I died or if I was still languishing in the gutter.”
“Don’t say that Ben. Don’t beat yourself over the things she said or did not say. Let’s just think about it for a while and hopefully we can come up with a plan. Right now she’s angry that you’ve reappeared and she probably thinks your presence might endanger her position and security in this new life of hers. Should we tell Tasha about this?”
Ben looked petrified. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Luyando said not to tell her. I am just worried that this may affect Tasha’s opposition at work. What if Luyando gets her fired? I know she is my daughter and I shouldn’t say this about her but, something in her eyes made the hairs at the back of my neck stand out.
“Her mother’s death didn’t just change me, it changed her too. She had become introvert and rarely spoke unless spoken to. She became haughty, short-tempered and she would easily get into fights with others.
“Perhaps, if I had paid a little more attention to her, she wouldn’t have turned out this way. I let her down at the point in her life when she desperately needed me. If after so many years I haven’t been able to forgive myself, I can only imagine what goes on in her mind when she thinks about me. She hates me…and the sad thing is, she has every right to.”
Martha put her arms around him again. “She might have every right to hate you, but she doesn’t have the right to accuse you of things you never did. Let’s just wait for a while, maybe she will come around.
“I will try and talk to her…tell her that we don’t want to get her away from her new family…that you just want to be closer to her as you try to make amends for the past. You just need to do your best to remind her of the kind of father you were before you got trapped in depression. What do you think?”
Bernard placed his hands on her shoulders and held her away from him so he could look at her properly. “I really don’t want to do anything that would make her life difficult. If she is happy there, then I should be happy for her. I am more than grateful that those people gave her the kind of life that I couldn’t.
“Even now, I couldn’t give her the kind of life she’s used to. I looked into who those people that adopted her are and it made me shake in my boots.”
“Oh dear,” Martha said, the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place in her mind.
“Yes,” Bernard confirmed. “They are one of the few richest folks in the country…say in Africa at large. Mr Mulenga, her father….inherited his father’s newspaper company and turned it into an empire after partnering up with some very influential people. Now they own the country’s leading media brand. I am nothing but a speck of dust next to such a man.”
“You seem to be missing the point Ben,” Martha reminded him. “Being a good parent doesn’t mean you have to be the richest person in the country or the world. You just need to be there for your kids when they need you, protect them, love them and guide them in life every now and then even when they feel they are ready to take on the world on their own.”
“And I never did any of that for her.” Bernard cried.
“Not always, yeah, but you did your best when you could. So what if you lost your way somewhere along the way? The good thing is that you picked yourself up and you are ready to take responsibility for the mistakes you made in the past. I say you are one hell of a father and I am so proud of you.”
Martha drew his head down towards her and kissed him on the lips. “We’re going to get through this,” she assured him. “I don’t care what Luyando told those people but I have watched you with our kids for twenty years and I have never seen you lay a finger on them.
“You are always the one they run to when they’re in trouble and I don’t think children can do something like that when they don’t feel secure around you. Between us, I am the tough loving one and you are the softie. Anyone who can’t see that can take a dive for all I care.”
“What can I ever do without you my darling?” He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her tightly.