Grief's Tender Arms

Introduction

-- You can skip this introductory note and jump to chapter one, though be sure to read the trigger warning at the end -- 

It's been a long while since I have been on Wattpad. I haven't been reading here and have definitely posted nothing here either. I felt quite dispirited after I discontinued "The Potato Nation" - a book that I had been invested in but eventually came to hate. I let down the people who had been following the story and couldn't keep up with the schedule. After that, I decided I wouldn't post any story without having fully written it. However, I never managed to complete a book after that either - so lol @ me. 

I did get into poetry! And I published a chapbook of poems about Karachi (my city), which will be available on Amazon soon, God-willing. 

It wasn't like I wasn't working on a novel. I was, but it didn't turn out great and I lost interest in that one either, so yeah. I took a long hiatus from novel-writing and worked on my poetry. I have an Instagram account by the name of @deskofideas, if you want to follow me by any chance, where I post my journals and poems. Recently, though, something started to bug me. Really, really bug me. 

I slowly grew out of Young Adult novels; I fell in love with the nuance in adult novels, the level of depth, and how much thought had been put in them. That was one of the reasons why I was unable to enjoy the YA genre as much as I used to - I just grew up. Another reason, however, was that I had gained more understanding of how mental illnesses worked. Instead of a romanticized version of them, I grew to understand what it really meant to be mentally ill, what it meant to lose hope and not be able to find that again - and how horrible it was to lose control over your own mind, a mind that you had previously depended on to make all your decisions for you.

I am not saying that there aren't books out there (even in the YA genre!) that represent mental illness correctly. But the percentage of books that do is considerably less, let's just say that. And I thought: why not me? I should go ahead and write a book like that! 

Of course, it all dwindled into self-doubt and I currently hate what I wrote, but you know, I tried. And I finished the novella (a novella is shorter than a novel, bigger than a short story). And the best part is that it's still different because it's set in Karachi, Pakistan. Which means I deal with very desi, very South Asian problems as well. 

For people who aren't South Asian: this is a chance to delve into a culture that isn't yours! I personally love reading about different cultures. 

For South Asians: I hope I've done a good enough job for you all and I hope that the book doesn't disappoint. 

So, the thing that bugged me, was this urge to write about a) mental illness & b) my own culture rather than European books. Which is why I am also trying to start a second project but yk, I might never finish it so not going to talk about it. 

THE GOOD NEWS: The book is finished, so you don't have to wait for me to actually write, you just have to wait for me to post according to a schedule (once or twice a week, probably)

THE BAD NEWS: I suck and the book sucks so I am going to be editing along the way. I will try my very best, insha Allah, to give you a good version but if that doesn't happen, please bear with me and ignore the mistakes. In other words, please love me thanks. 

DON'T SKIP THIS NEXT PART: 

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS. SOMETHINGS MIGHT BE VERY TRIGGERING (MOSTLY TOWARDS THE END), SO PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT IN A VULNERABLE STATE WHILE READING IT. 

Just to be safe, I'll put up a trigger warning at the start of such chapters as well. 

So, that's all from me! Please drop down your comments and vote for the chapter - it would mean a lot to me. And talk to me - tell me about your own experiences with mental illness, with the YA genre, with books that represent mental illness, anything at all. I would love to interact with you all. 

Rida xx