🌬A Lonely Soul's Imagination

Empty Chair

"It is okay to be alone.
Yeah! I'm consoling you.
When you go to a resturant, the front sit is always empty, as well as the sit beside you is also empty. You are all by yourself. In front of you, there is a friend group and the other side there is a couple. Everyone is cheerful, doing something, talking to each other, joking around and making romance. And you? You are alone in a table with bunch of empty sits and some food. It's okay. It's really okay. Just change the structure of your thinking. You can think yourself as a audience who is enjoying different feelings at once. Who is observing altogether all by himself/herself. You are taking every sip of your coffee all alone. So what? The coffee is quite tasty right? You choose and eat the dessert of your choice all alone. So what? At least you can eat it by your choice and don't have to share your favourite bite which is really a big matter! I know right?

Actually I know. It's not helping. No matter how much you create your own scenario or be a viewer of groups and couples and a happy human being, in the end you are alone. The main fact always was and is, you are alone. The more you want to deny it the more it become darker. Day by day you are being sucked in the darkness and forgetting the actual light of the world. You are trying to enjoy the coffee all by youself but deep inside you are hoping that someone accompany with, share their opinion about coffee and you both have a little chit-chat. You are trying to be happy by thinking that now you are able to eat your favourite dessert all by youself but deep inside you are hoping some friends by your side who will make a mess of the dessert and do lots of fun.
That was quite a beautiful imaginary world but, come to the reality. Again I'm saying you are alone. I will keep repeating it. I will being harsh. Because in the end it is the truth and you have to accept tha fact. I know how much you envy the groups of friends and the happy couples. You don't want their bad but you want to become one of them. You are continuously trying to find a space where you do not belong. I know sweetheart, I know. Yeah, I cannot define or feel or fully understand the pain you are feeling but I know the fact. I know that you are feeling empty, miserable, alone, tried, you are envying people's happiness without even knowing, you are sad and no one is there for you to calm you down. You are very lost. It is becoming like a difficult puzzle where you unable to pair up any of the pieces. I know.

Now you have to know. You have to accept. You have to think that the unsolved puzzle is fine. Empty chairs are fine. Being alone is fine. You have to think that it is natural and you are living a regular usual life. I know a hole is creating inside your heart by covering up the feelings you want to feel. The hole will become wider and wider. You have to accept the hole in your heart with emptyness. No, don't fill it up with the darkness. No No. Never do that. It will eat you up and desolve you. You have to erase the darkness no matter what. Remember, the hole is suppose to be emty. It cannot involve anything, not even the darkness. This is the only one thing you have. Hole with emptyness. Don't take the risk to mix it up with anything. You are alone, you are empty with a hole in your heart. And that's your identity.

So enjoy the coffee with the empty chair in front of you."

Thus the girl finished her last sip of the coffee and ended the conversation with the empty chair in front of her.