"this wasn't a choice between you and him. This was a choice between who I should be and who I am," - Bella. Eclipse - Twilight
If you haven't realized, I compare myself to Bella swan. Not because I'm dating a vampire, though that would be cool, but because I understand her. The book wasn't about her fighting over boys but he trying to figure out herself.
That's where I come in.
I was completely and utterly in love, but I was also, mistreated and wasn't able to be myself. I was put into a world I didn't belong in, acted like someone I wasn't, and fell in love, though I told myself I wouldn't. I gave up everything for love, including myself. The only person I cared about, I lost and with that I lost myself.
I went through depression like Bella, but I didn't have my happy ending, like her. That's where my story changed.
I fell in love, hard too. We did everything together and I thought he was in love with me but it was an exterior. I was "cute" (though I'm not) and popular and different so I had any guy I wanted. I chose my best friend, of course, but he didn't choose me back. I moved, he cheated, and I hit depression. Though only one person noticed, I gave myself to fiction, only reading, and listening to electropop. Edward came back for Bella but Jakob (I know, cliche) didn't come back for me. My Jacob was Fischer, he made me happy, though in a very weird way at first, and I slowly found myself in reality.
I had nightmares like Bella, and I still do though they aren't as bad anymore, and I gave up like Bella.
Twilight isn't just about a sparkling vampire. It's about the importance of knowing who you truly are.
Jaclynn 😈
