Nothing to your Everything

Outside the Operation Room

  They escort Law to an empty seat outside the operation room and he feels numb.

He can't quite seem to comprehend anything happening around him. All the nurses voices are blurs of white noise that he can't care to decipher.

He feels empty.

He supposes he should be feeling something right now. Maybe he should cry, should sob and mourn over his soulmate in the next room.

Yet he feels compelled to do none of that.

A chilling emptiness has gripped his chest. Like he had been submerged under water, stuck under layers of ice and ear splitting silence. But that can't he right, because he's breathing right now, he knows he his, he can feel his chest rise and fall with every shuddering intake of air. So he can't be under water.

Law sits and stares at the clicking of a clock across from him, seconds passing, minutes passing, tick tocking away within his mind.

Law knows he's in shock.

He's a doctor, for fucks sake, of course he knows the symptoms of shock. He had seen enough patients sitting blankly to be able to recognize it in an instant.

He just never thought he would be here himself.

He's seen families devastated, victims terrified and alone, patched up sobbing patients more times than he can count.

But somehow he never once thought that the situation could just as easily be flipped on him.

His fingers twitch on the arm rests of the chair, clenching and unclenching, winding together and pulling apart, ripping at his cuticles.

Law supposes that he's cruel.

Any other person would be devastated. Any other person would be praying and hoping for their loved one to be okay. Any other person would care.

He tries to make himself feel something besides this empty coldness and gets nothing. His heart might as well be still in his chest.

Luffy deserved better than this.

Law had never really understood the world that well.

He had never understood how so many people could die, could be injured, could be hurt, yet have done nothing to deserve it.

He's seen mother's and children pass away right in front of him, he'd seen his sister slowly wither away to dust in her bed, he'd seen his parents dead bodies lying on the ground when he was 10.

Law has seen so much death and so much tragedy in his life, has seen too much, but for the life of him he could never tell you why.

He couldn't tell you why he's seen murderers and rapists walk free and full of life while their victims lay dead.

He couldn't tell you why his entire 5th grade class are all decomposing in the ground, piled up on eachother with no respect or privacy, with no regard, because the death count was too high to bother with coffins.

He couldn't tell you why Law survived and anyone else didn't, why he was currentlu walking the earth alive and well while his grade school teacher was a pile of fucking bones, why someone who actually deserved to live wasn't alive.

He couldn't tell you why, because he doesn't know fucking anything.

He doesn't know why Luffy, the most innocent and wonderful person he had ever known, the only person who even mattered anymore, the best human being on the fucking planet was in the next room dying-