You, My Enigmatic Lover

Fuck

I hate that everyone is temporary.
Everyone in my life is temporary
I know it because they feel temporary.
No one ever feels like someone that'll stick around.
Not since you.
You were the only one I ever thought I could spend my whole life with.
You made it clear from the beginning that you never felt the same.
But no matter who I'm with, they're never you.
And I don't mean you specifically, or maybe I do, I don't know.
They never make me feel the way you did and I fucking hate it.
I hate you for never wanting me.
And I hate myself for not being able to feel for anyone else how I felt for you.
I just want to be happy.
I want to see a future with someone.
But you were the only one I could see myself drinking coffee in rocking chairs on a porch in our old age.
And that's fucked.
Fucked cause I can't see myself doing that with anyone else.
Fucked cause you'll never make it that far.