In Your Dreams

Chapter 57

In Your Dreams: Chapter 57

Goku's previous desire to train and impress Vegeta earlier that day had all but vanished, and the Saiyajin had wandered back into his bedroom after feeding Momoku with the intention of showering and changing into more comfortable clothing. For some reason though, Goku had instead ended up sitting in the corner of the closet he'd given birth in. The nest he'd spent months constructing had been dismantled and taken away days before, but the small space still managed to provide some comfort to him in a strange way. He didn't understand why, but he wasn't going to question it.

Goku was beginning to feel like an outsider amongst his own family and friends again, despite his best efforts to convince himself otherwise. Thoughts of simply leaving were beginning to creep into his conscious thoughts from the corners of his mind, and there were days when the idea seemed almost too appealing.

He'd grown so used to the solitude and lack of companionship during his years in the lab that he was finding it difficult to readjust to family life. It wasn't like the Saiyajin enjoyed being alone, but it certainly seemed easier most the time. Goku didn't seem cut out for the family life, and he certainly didn't seem to make a very good parent, as Vegeta had very pointedly made clear with his earlier statement. Maybe it'd be best to just cut his loses and go off on his own again.

All this... it was just too hard.

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''Sounds like Post Partum Depression. It's quite common.''

Goku furrowed his brow as he folded his arms over his chest and cast Victor a confused look. He'd decided to seek out the doctor to talk about his latest frustrations and to ask for advice on what to do about the situation, but the other man's response wasn't what he was expecting.

''What? I thought I already had that.''

Victor chuckled and shook his head. ''No, you already had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is PTSD. PPD is something that occurs after delivery when your hormones are readjusting themselves. It's perfectly normal and should go away within a couple of months.''

Goku struggled to make sense of all the letters that were being thrown at him, and he drummed on the table he sat at with his fingers as he processed it all. ''Sooo... my feelings toward Momoku aren't really my own? It's because of this... PPD?''

The other man smiled and nodded. ''Most likely. I've heard of instances where new mothers wanted to throw their infants out of moving vehicles or drown them when they cried too much.''

The color drained from the Saiyajin's face, and his mouth dropped open in shock. ''W-what?! That's terrible!''

''Yes, it is, but it's rare that the mother actually does it. Most feel so guilty about their thoughts that they end up harming themselves instead.'' Victor paused for a moment and met the other man's gaze with his own. ''I want you to come straight to me if you have any thoughts of harming yourself, ok? We'll talk through it.''

Goku nodded absently as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. ''Ok, but I don't think that's a problem. The only one I want to hurt is Vegeta.''

''Also perfectly normal.''

''Yeah?''

Victor smiled playfully. ''Of course. It's Vegeta. Everyone wants to hurt him at one point or another.''

Goku found himself laughing before he could stop himself, and suddenly it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was glad he'd decided to talk to Victor rather than take off on his own. His thoughts were not his own right now and he doubted he could make rational decisions about things as important as his involvement with his family.