Until Perfect Lasts (ShivIka)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

You start hating Sundays when it turns from the one when you can do all the fun stuff to the one when you should do all the chores you were putting off all week. Over years I have developed a love-hate relationship with this day.

Shivay usually gets excited about this day. I have no idea why, though. He anyways stays home all the time. He says, 'It's all four of us together. That's something to celebrate.' I give a smile and before he can detect the deception in it I cover it with a quick peck on the lips. This, as well, is a trick I learned over years.

Today, first Sunday that I have for myself, I spend lying on the bed scrolling through my abandoned Instagram account discovering how everyone I know is having 'Gala time' while I haven't still peed even after clock has stuck 12 noon.

I am not a social media person. That is why I had to click forget password before logging into my account. I find it nosy and stalker-ish. That exactly has made me scroll through posts today.

I know my sister, Preeti lives another life in social media. When my husband hasn't returned a call since our abrupt one last time, I had to resort to some other means to know what they three are up to. So far Preeti has posted ten pictures
(in four days). There were two selfies, three with some special food my mom has prepared for her grandkids, two with my daughters, one with her bookshelf and the last with Shivay and the girls.

The last one was posted 20 hours ago. The girls loved the rose garden behind my parents' and I know Shivay was taking them there. Nidhi has even packed her favourite ball and toy truck to take to the garden. The picture looked shaky in the edges as if it was clicked in a hurry. Shivay was holding Nidhi in his arms while Preeti was hugging Misha in one hand and probably holding phone with the other, clicking the photo. They were all smiles. In one single frame, they looked like overdose of sugar syrup.

Misha's eyes were closed more in mischief than accident. She liked making goofy faces in photos. Shivay and Nidhi had identical grins. People said Nidhi looked like me, but at least her smile has taken after Shivay. On the other hand, Misha looked like a replica of Shivay's mother. A fact that he couldn't stop cherishing, as he thinks his mother has come back to live with him after she died when he was mere boy of 10.

Shivay grew up with his father, step mother and step siblings. He always identifies himself as loner saying that he never felt he 'belonged' with his family, which I think is over romanticizing his situation, because his family is fine. Shivay had this thing where he liked to believe that he has been cheated by the universe. When his father died three years ago, he said 'Thank God for you guys, else I would have been a lonely orphan.' Probably, this notion that he grew up believing now makes him crave and obsess over his family more than necessary.

If not having a proper family growing up is reason enough to fixate over it when you have a solid one. Then, having a proper family growing up and an easy childhood is reason enough to not fixate over it, right? I mean, been there, done that.

I have had enough Sundays spent on family bonding, board games, and silly movie marathons when I was living with my parents. Now, that I am an adult, can I just not have a single day for myself without making it a 'family time'? Don't I deserve it after long exhausting week?

Going back to the picture Preeti has posted, I read her caption. 'Family' she has written followed by emoticons (I have no clue what they mean). Deciding that reading comments is taking to too far, I began observing the picture pixel by pixel. Shivay's grin.

I quickly switched apps, opened my gallery and fetched an old picture. It was a selfie that we clicked in Shimla where we were on a mini honeymoon before Misha was conceived. Amidst the huge mountains and white spread of snow, what I could only concentrate was...Shivay's grin.