Alcoholless Drunken Thoughts

1-Topsy-turvy.

Alpaca's POV:

Who have ever thought that one day I will waver from my so called set and craved goal I am instable I do not know what I want nor do I know what I can get.

Things are so close I feel pressured I want to do everything and live my happy ever after .
I wonder if I will be fortunate enough to live it .

Getting a glimpse of so many opportunities and fields is surely confusing .

My dad is set on me being a physician although he never clearly said it but I know that disappointment will devour him if I don't become one ,trust me father it is not easy for me to tear the detailedly planned future and opt for one with a foggy unpredictable end, I still have options that is sure and I haven't even passed the end settling exam yet , a girl can dream but the way I am doing it is genuinely unhealthy it is no longer a dream but a nightmare.

I do not know if 10 years from now i will look back and (that is if I am still alive)say I am so glad I made this choice or the complete opposite either way I am always thankful to god.

I hate feeling regret nothing can be as hammering as regret it would not let you sleep at night and these constantly what ifs will surely make you a mad man .

Mouth veil or so called Litham in North Africa I honestly do not know why I my thoughts wondered to a princess in a mouth veil right now it has nothing to do with this topic or maybe it does. 

Some people will find a way or another to link it but I can't .I will be honest I can but it is just irrational I am picturing a girl grinning from ear to ear her smile doesn't appear for, it is under her Litham what is she hiding I do not know.

Her eyelids are forming some sort of wrinkles from her smile this is the only cue i can base my theory on ,well I still do not know what or how is she related to my current situation .

I am not gonna remember this so why bother write it actually the fact that I said this very single sentence will make me remember either way my eyes are closing on their own accord .

Man ....I feel what I wrote is worth publishing it is a really silly idea seeing no one is going to read it but this might just be the reason why I will upload it on wattdiary ,the fact that I will free my thoughts and not let them bottle up knowing that there is a skinny chance ,a chance skinnier than Kendall Jenner ,that someone will read this alcaholless drunken thoughts is making me relieved.
(well even if someone did I honestly am not ashamed in fact maybe they are feeling the same and can in a way or an other share their experience with me or even comfort me and sober me up ok stop the nonsense but honestly I feel that this things will blow over and I won't believe my eyes once I come back to it ok no really stop the nonsense I actually would love it if someone read it at least I shared a piece of me even though I am pretty anonymous here touché HI anonymous ,if anyone from anonymous is reading this ,dude I honestly need your advice because I am torn apart let's close the brackets now I even forgot that I put it in the first place ,here we go).

It is exactly the same as screaming from a cliff and letting the wind carry them , hearing them echo ,only mine are silent and soundless but they are inked intona screen.

I never thought that ideas will start flowing ,I now am starting to think how man ever thought of writing .CHAPEAU mate because this was a real innovation.