Wake

A Whole New World

June 17, 2018

Oh, sweetie. I've sat here staring at this blank page for so long. This will be the last journal entry I will write for you. The doctors are convinced you will never wake up. It's been three years after all, who can blame them.

Things have gotten worse. President Howard is sending in troops to take us away. Your daddy thinks it's best we leave before they arrive... hide away. He says it's our only chance. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you.

But the world is different now.. Your brother is going with your dad. I don't think I can handle being separated from another child.... As much as it pains me to leave you, I believe you will wake up. When you do, hopefully, You can find us. I'm not able to put the address on here for risk of giving up our location. Just remember, don't trust anyone, especially soldiers. You will know them when you see them.

I have to go now....I love you Ana. Stay Strong baby. Keep fighting.

~Momma

~~~~~~~~

I'm a victim. A victim of everlasting sleep. The only pause button in life.

I stared at the girl in the mirror. I didn't recognize her. She was in no way familiar to me. Gripping the sides of the sink, I struggled to figure out who I was.

Burning tears flooded my eryes before they became too heavy and fell down my cheeks. My face turned bright red and the uncontrollable scream that was trapped inside, found it's way out.

I sobbed uncontrollable. Unable to pull myself together. How had I gotten here? I managed to let out another scream, allowing my echo to roam out of the bathroom and around every corner of the hospital.

No one would hear me. I was alone. Abandoned in a hospital and lost in a body I didn't recognize.

~~~

I sat on the hospital bed and flipped through the journals my mother had written me while I was 'sleeping'. Three years worth of journal entries. She had sat in this very room every day for three years writing to me. Four journals total.

I had found the journals on the table next to my bed, with a page neatly on top, that looked as if it had been ripped out. I read that page first. It was dated June 17, 2018.

I then flipped through the pages of the journals, trying to hear my momma's voice as I read. I couldn't.

I tried to picture her face. I couldn't.

However, the book gave me some insight on who I was. I discovered my name was Anastazy, but my family called me Ana. I also learned I had been induced in a coma for three years, and that I had a mother, father, and an older brother.

There weren't any information on how I came to be in a coma. I suppose my mom wanted to leave out the painful memories and save me from them.

The journals were so descriptive. I almost felt like I had lived in every memory. I suppose that was my mothers intention. She didn't want me to feel like I missed anything.

She wrote about birthday celebrations, books she had read, movies she enjoyed, and even about new songs she had heard on the radio.

The more I read the journals, the closer I felt to this woman. This woman who referred to herself as mother; although, I didn't remember her.

~~~

I woke up in an awfully uncomfortable postion. One of the journals was lodged underneath me on my side. My arms were hanging off the bed, with one journal in hand, and the feeding tube that had kept me alive was irratating my skin.