Howling Heart

Chapter 1 - My Deepest Secret

I've lived in this town my entire life. The walls of my world had always felt so closed in. Sure, the people were friendly here, but if they knew who I was, what I was deep down, they would hunt me. Life for me and my family would be uprooted and ruined. For the past almost twenty-one years I've kept my secret to myself. I'm a shifter.

Not just any shifter though. No, that would be too easy. I found myself rolling my eyes often at the thought. I was the daughter of the alpha. Princess of the pack so to speak and with my birthday just a week off I was dreading it.

For anyone else in the pack, it wouldn't matter. The others were allowed to be themselves. Love whoever they wanted. The only rule was that they could only have offspring with other wolves. Even if the wolf wasn't from our pack. You could screw whoever you wanted but breed with a human, and not only are they dead, but you are too. My father has no love for those he deems a traitor. And sadly, humans were public enemy number one.

However, my role was a little bigger. In one week my mate would be picked and my fate would be sealed for life. As future alpha of the pack, I'd need not only the support but the capability to continue the royal bloodline. Neither of which I was fond of.

I took my time, stretching my body out in the grass, my hazel eyes watching the clouds waft past. As if the day would drag on as they lazily hug in the air. I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath, but I did notice the blood trickle down from my lip. A nervous habit I have when I'm overthinking. And I had a lot to think about, rather than worry about if I was or wasn't chewing on my lip. I either had to find a mate, or my father would pick one for me.

"Ava."

Speaking of mates, Ronan's voice pulled me from my cloud gazing. I picked myself up, grass stuck in my auburn hair that curled halfway down my back. His black skin was pulled tight over his muscles. He was one of the top pics for my mate. He was also my best friend.

He crouched down beside me, his toned arms exposed in the summer light. "You okay? You've been out here all day. It's like you're waiting for the sun to explode." He laughed. His deep voice soothed me.

He was born into the pack only a few months before I was. We had grown up together. He was more than my friend, he was my confidante and a protector. I had always thought he'd be the best choice but now as the days rushed at me, I realized I didn't want his young.

It wasn't him. As far as people and wolves go he was beyond handsome. However, just the thought of being with him, or any male right now made my stomach turn. I didn't want to be a mother. I had always focused on being the alpha's replacement. That's who I was. I thrived in the pack and it fueled my leadership skills but this mate part put a damper on everything. I also had one more secret that I hid from the world.

I was a lesbian.

No one knew. Not even Ronan. Everyone just thought I was odd for not dating in high school. Most kids just assumed that I had a thing with Ronan but he kept himself involved with sports. They also didn't know pack rules.

"I feel like my head would explode before the sun will." I pushed myself to my feet and dusted the dead grass off my body. It had been a dry summer but we still had time for a few good storms. I sighed as Ronan helped me to my feet. He was a good foot taller than me, somewhere around six and a half feet. He dwarfed me at just over five feet.

His hand rubbed his head. He had just cut his hair for the summer a week or so ago and the small curls were already creating a velvet feel. "Worried about next week?"

I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I really just hoped that it would all just go away if I ignored it. I sighed again, a futile attempt to let the stress go. "Yeah."

Ronan placed a hand on my shoulder. "Ava, I'll support you no matter what choice you make. I'll always be here to protect you." He pulled me in for a hug and I embraced it. He was the big brother I never had. "Anyway, there's a meeting tonight, I wanted to make sure you knew."

I was good for missing the pack meetings. Perhaps my biggest downfall as far as alpha responsibilities go. Pops always took it personally but really I just didn't always get the memo. I liked my alone time. "Thanks. I'll be there."

"Then I'll see you tonight unless you want to grab some dinner with me first?" His elbow dug into my side while he made his offer.

I couldn't help but laugh as he smiled. The man always knew how to make me feel better, that was for sure. "Sure, but you get to buy. Otherwise, it would be a scandal." He laughed at the inside joke. We had always poked fun at our friendship.

"Deal."