[Niall's POV]
Most people don't understand why I act the way I do or why I don't actually speak. It's too difficult and tramautizing for me to explain it to them. If they knew what I've gone through, they'd only feel sympathy for me. I can't tell anyone; I won't tell anyone. I'm so terrified that something bad will happen if anyone, even my own family, finds out what happens within those long, tragic months. It's something that no one should ever have to go through. I wouldn't even wish that on the Stephen, Harry, or any of their friends and we all know that I don't exactly get along with them.
"Look," I hear some freshman whisper. "It's that junior boy that doesn't talk. I wonder why he doesn't."
"Maybe he's trying to look tough," another one whispers. "It isn't working. He has too much of a baby face and his clothes are too light."
"True, true."
I just glare at them as they giggle and walk off. I seriously don't know why people choose to talk about me. They think I can't hear them. They're trying to whisper and be quiet about it. They really are. But, these freshmen really don't know how to whisper.
"Hey, look!" I hear a voice from behind me. I look back. It's Stephen. Great. "It's the gay mute!" He pushes me against the locker and I slide down to the floor. If only I had the courage to speak out or fight back or something.
I shouldn't be dealing with this. It's been going on for way too long. But, in reality, I'm just too scared to do anything. They've been bullying me since kindergarten. It's something that should've died down by now or at least become normal for me. But, it's not. Day by day, it gets progressively worse. They find new reasons to pick on me. Right now, it's my sexual orientation along with the usual pointing out of my selective mutism. No matter how much I try, they just continue to get to me. I try to actually speak in order to take up for myself. But, I just can't bring myself to actually use my voice. No matter what I do, I just don't have it in me to take up for myself. This is why I use the voice app on my phone. I don't like talking at school or at all for that matter.
"Savannah, I'm so sick of Stephen and them... " I text Savannah. "I don't know what I did to them :("
"you didnt do anything. theyre just jealous because youre more open with your sexuality than theyre used to"
"maybe... but it still hurts... a lot..."
I grab my lunch sack and head to the lunch room to meet up with Savannah. She gets trays every day. So, I have to wait on her before we head to the library. We haven't made the mistake of sitting back in the lunch room since the first day of high school when this senior boy dumped his whole tray of leftovers on my head and smirked. I spent two whole periods in the principal's office waiting for my mom to bring me clothes. Ever since then, the librarian has been nice enough to agree to let us sit in there as long as we don't eat around the computers or books.
Our library is extremely nice and fairly new. As you walk in, you have to walk through this really nice white painted wooden door. To your right is one big book shelf that holds all the fantasy books the school owns. To the left, you have the compters which sit on a long burgendy colored counter. There's a row of computers on each side. Behind the computers is where all the almanacs and biographies are kept. Right in the front of the room directly in the center is the librarian's desk. About 5 feet in front of that, there's about five or six bookshelves that are placed diagonal along with one placed at the wall behind those that hold the fiction and nonfiction books. In between the computers and the bookshelves are six circular tables with four chairs each. In the back behind the bookshelves are six comfortable velvet chairs right next to these huge panel windows that reach all the way up towards the roof. Between the fiction books and the walls are four more circular tables.
"Good afternoon Niall.... Savannah," the librarian, Janet, greets us warmly.
She's always been one of my favorite staff members at this school. Since I got here freshman year, she's helped me explore a world of books that I never would've discovered without her. I have always been into reading books. My favorite writers consist of Ellen Hopkins, Charles Dickens, and Sarah Dessen. But, the problem was, by the end of eighth grade year, I've already read all of their books. So, I needed something else to spend time reading. The beginning of freshman year is when I started getting into horror.
"Good afternoon, Janet," I smile.
"I have some new books in. Would you like to take a look when your done eating?"
I have Janet for my sixth period study hall class. So, whenever she gets new books, she always lets me have first dibs sine she knows how much I love to read. Last month, she got in the Beautiful Creatures series. I just finished the last book. It was a really great series and I can't wait to see what she has in store for me this month.
"Thanks. I'll take a look."
"So," Savannah starts. "How are you doing?"
"Better. They haven't bothered me since I texted you."
"Do you think the anti-bullying assembly will make them change?"
"Nope. When is that thing anyway?"
"Thursday."
"'Ugh, I have two days to prepare myself for humiliation."
"You'll be fine... They're showing the video we made, right?"
"Yeah, it's going to start out the assembly."
[Harry's POV]
"Did you see Niall today?" Stephen laughs. "He looks ridiculous!"
"No," I begin. "What was he wearing?"
"Skinny jeans and a Blood On The Dance Floor Shirt... So middle school!"
I just laugh slightly and look away. I really don't like the way that they talk about Niall. It's sad. He seems really sweet. They say they hate him because he's gay and they won't want to get hit on by other guys. Little do they know, they're best friends with a gay guy - me! I'm going to be completely open and honest here. I've always known I was different from my friends. I may have had girlfriends. But, I've never really connected with them. I resorted online for two years, using websites that my friends obviously weren't on to find gay people just like me all around the world. I dated two or three guys and I've connected with all of them. But, I knew I couldn't tell my friends for fear that I would lose my popularity, along with my bad boy reputation. I'd be forced to sit with the uncool kids - which I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't sit in the library. I honestly don't like the library. I don't read. The only time I have ever been in there was to print things off for class.
I've never really been all that close to Niall. But, he really doesn't deserve to be treated this way. I'm going to use this anti-bullying assembly as an excuse to talk to him. I regret going all these years with a group of friends that makes fun of someone because they're gay. Who knows? Maybe we'll become really good friends.
