Ousting psychopath killers 101

Mistakes and horrible deaths

  Okay, maybe my first mistake was not running. What, a psychopath killer determined to annihilate you isn't everyday news? I can't be the only girl who's brain got smashed until, well, I died. Seriously.

  Or maybe it was my, 'Oh, nobody can harm me' attitude. Note to self: Next time you get a paranoid feeling, do NOT just prop up your feet and turn up the volume of Aerosmith on your phone, because that would TOTALLY save you. (Note sarcasm please.)

  But maybe I didn't make a mistake. Did fate choose specifically for me to die? Oh gosh thats a cruel joke. Fate, you and I are going to have a word.

  So i made all those mistakes, and now I'm wandering around as a girl who died unjustly. You have got to be kidding me.

  Six hours ago flashback! (Cue dramatic music!)

  Steven Tyler screamed (sang? I don't know, how would YOU describe a heavy metal singer's singing then?) from my phone as i slouched in the big red velvet couch in my living room. My dear mother decided that, "OH, eighteen is a PERFECT age to leave my darling daughter alone at home while i go on a second honeymoon with my fourth husband so we can rekindle the sparks of our love and..." Bleugh, NOT going to happen mom! And thanks, now I'm dead.

  The fire burning in the fireplace cast a dreamy glow on the furniture. It was nearing midnight and i was about to doze off in the comfortable soft chair...Oh velvet chair how I miss you. Then suddenly, goosebumps pricked up all over my arms and i felt so vunerable and unprotected...

  No I'm not joking, i got THAT feeling. Like, i could predict something scary was about to happen. Then, being rather dumb, I thought: "Hero's probably eating my cookies right now." Seriously, my brain is SO annoying sometimes. Hero is my dog, a golden retriever. Him and cookies (and heavy metal / rock music) means the world to me, but him eating my cookies is just 'HELL to the NO!!"

  Then, there was a pounding noise. My first reaction was initially to jump up, find the culprit making noise at this unholy hour and scream at him, but I only managed to stand when the pain at the back of my head hit me. I winced in pain. And froze. Escaping psychopath killers 101 course takers please take note: The best chance of escaping always disappears when you freeze. Just a precaution you might want to take.

  Then, the heartless idiot who killed me swung the...whatever he used to kill me at my head again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN. Until i died.

  I don't really know how it happened, but it was darn quick all right. It's like, one moment you're all "Crud, I'm being killed." and the next, "Oh, I'm dead. Yup, THAT fast.

  Then suddenly i was standing in this place which seemed to be a white room but the white was glaring and the room went on and on and...well, you get the picture. So i've been wandering around for 5 hours and 55 minutes (Hey, don't judge. when you die and end up in this situation, you would find yourself counting the exact amount of time that had passed too.) and i still seem to be in the exact same spot where i started. Just peachy.