oliver

prologue

"No...no." I say, my face buried behind my hands, "I can't believe it. I won't believe it." I stood up from the hospital chair and wiped away the tears that stung my eyes.

"Sir, please, I understand you are upset right now but we need you to remain calm."

"Remain calm? Remain Calm! Explain to me how I'm supposed to remain calm when I haven't been calm since, since... I don't even know when I was last calm!"

"Mr.Horan, please-" The nurse started to say, but then paused, "I understand. I completely understand. Your wife just passed away, but I need you to calm down and come with me. Your son-"

"My son?" I asked calmly.

"Yes." She said with a half-smile, knowing that I didn't know about him.

"She was right." I laughed to myself, "Elizabeth, she told me that we were going to have a boy; I insisted it was a girl..." A single tear streamed down my face. I wiped it off my cheek, trying not to cry more.

"Niall? Niall!" I hear and I turn around. I see Elizabeth's mom, she has makeup running down her face. She's been crying; she is still crying. I can't say anything. She hugs me and I instantly break out into a sob, "I know, I know. Please Niall, be strong. I know it's hard, but your baby needs you. Trust me, I'm in denial but I know Elizabeth would want you to stay strong for her, erh, him?"

"It's a boy, mum." I say with a smile, "And you're right... he needs me." Once again, I wipe the tears from my eyes and go to the nurse.

"Thank you," she says, "for being strong. Now please, come with me. Ma'am, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to wait out here."

"I understand, but can I say a few words to my son?" The nurse nods her head and puts two fingers up, indicating that I could speak to her for two minutes, "Now Niall, I know what you're going to see in there. I've been through this before. Trust me, you're going to be hurt, you're going to be terrified, you're going to want to break down into tears when you see your baby. I need you to be strong. Be strong like you've never been strong before. Your baby boy needs you and Elizabeth needs you to be there for him. She is looking down on you Hun. She is there for you. Now please, put on your big boy undies and see your son." I nodded my head and mouthed the words 'thank you, I love you' and then gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Follow me." Said the nurse. She led me through two white double doors into the NICU. The first thing I noticed were the beeping monitors. It makes me uneasy. I looked around some more but everything was a blur. The only thing I cared about was seeing my son,

"Here, put these on." She handed me a face mask, gloves, and a hospital gown. "It's to prevent the exposure of infections to the babies. Are you ready?" I took a deep breath and nodded. She led me to a bed which had what looked like a plastic box on it. I looked inside and saw him. His diminutive body was covered in tubes that were ten times bigger than him.

"Let me explain the IV's and monitors..." I nodded, incapable of saying anything, "First of all, he is in an Isolette. It is closely monitored and helps infants who have difficulty of maintaining their body temperature. The IV in his hand is to give him medicine by continuously giving several drops at a time instead of having multiple injections throughout the day. The tube, in his mouth, is a feeding tube. There are monitors to count his heart rate and breathing rate and another to watch his temperature. The last one is the ventilator. It goes through his nose to help him breathe. I know this is a lot to take in, but I will help you. I promise. Now, are you okay?"

"No, but I'll be fine." I said. I looked at him. His chest was slightly rising up and down, pushing the tubes with it.

"Mr.Horan, does he have a name?" We had picked a girl name, but never agreed on a name for a boy.

"Yes," I said, knowing exactly what Elizabeth would have wanted to name him, "his name is Oliver. Oliver Daniel Horan."

"Oliver Daniel, beautiful." She walked over to the Isolette, "Happy Birthday Oliver Daniel."