Ladynoir July 2020

Day 1 - The Wall Between Us

"Falling behind already?" Chat Noir called, bringing Ladybug's attention back to the present moment.

"You wish," she grinned, pushing herself out of her next jump with extra strength. She watched him glance back at her again, the distance between them shortening.

She was about to make another remark, probably one about how he seemed a little off himself, but she stopped herself. Before they'd begun their race, she'd seen how his smile hadn't reached his eyes like usual. She'd thought she'd imagined it at school, but even in the dimming light of sunset it was obvious to her. Something was bothering him more and more as the days went by.

Ever since he'd revealed his identity to her, she'd been watching carefully to see if anything would change. In a lot of ways, it had made things easier. She knew that Adrien wouldn't be in trouble during akuma attacks because he was fighting beside her. She found herself becoming more and more comfortable around him as Marinette.

But she had a feeling that not everything was going as smoothly for him. Something had changed for him. She felt a stronger pull from him as Marinette, but as Ladybug, she felt him pulling away. She wanted to ask him about it, but she could never find the right words, always seeming to hit a wall. It seemed like there was a lot more that he was keeping inside, and she could see that it was beginning to weigh on him more and more heavily. It had begun to nag at her too. She'd learned his identity because she was the guardian, and it had thrilled her to discover that her crush had become her best friend without her ever knowing it. She wanted to shout from the rooftops about how happy she was, but knowing that he was struggling made her worry constantly.

When he'd dropped his transformation that first time, she couldn't believe the strength of the urge to do the same. She knew she couldn't reveal her identity to him. Not yet.

Ladybug shook her head, trying to clear the haze of thoughts that had settled over her mind. She wanted to focus on the moment, having been looking forward to their outing for a few weeks.

After a few more minutes of traversing the rooftops of Paris, they closed in on their destination, the sun dipping just below the horizon as they touched down.

"I'd say it was a tie," she heard Chat say as he labored under his heavy breathing. She chuckled, out of breath herself.

"I wouldn't," she replied, raising an eyebrow at him. She expected him to joke around more, but he focused on catching his breath, so she looked around instead.

They'd been racing to Parc Monceau, a park that Ladybug had suggested as an option a few weeks back. It was one of her favorite spots to visit as a civilian, and she wanted to experience it with Chat Noir too.

"Follow me," she smiled when they'd caught their breath, starting towards her favorite part of the park. Chat walked a pace behind her, remaining quiet. Ladybug tried not to wish that he would crack a joke, biting her lip as she wondered what to say to fill the silence.

As the crest of the small hill revealed the structure she was so looking forward to seeing, she let herself smile, turning back to gently take Chat's hand, seeing his eyes widen.

"Come on," she grinned excitedly, beginning to walk faster and pulling him along with her. They approached the semi circle of columns surrounding a small portion of the lake, Chat's hand slipping from hers. She had just pressed a gloved hand to a column, admiring the last tints of orange that reflected off the water. Turning to look at him, she watched his frown deepen, his eyes locked on the ground.

"Chat?" she called gently, letting her hand fall from the stone column as she turned her whole body to face him. He let out a soft sigh, rubbing his arm absentmindedly.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind," he told her, not meeting her eyes. She tilted her head, nodding because it was obvious.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked, and he looked up at her, his eyes flitting away just as quickly.

"No...maybe?" He groaned, using both his hands to ruffle his hair and then attempt to smooth it out again, staring up at the sky.

"Start with something small, just to get it out of your system," she suggested, watching him let out a long exhale.

"Her smile," he spoke, his eyes moving to the lake. She blinked at him, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Her?" she wondered, seeing a different kind of fervor light up his eyes. She realized her heart was pounding, her hands closing into fists.

"Her smile is contagious," he continued, walking forward to stand in between two columns, the water lapping gently at the stone beneath his feet.

"Recently, she's been smiling more around me, and I didn't realize how..." His voice trailed off, and her lips parted, wanting to ask a thousand questions. She heard him take a breath in, shaking his head slightly. She stepped forward, coming to stand on the other side of the column to his right, peeking around it to glance at his face. A small smile was pressed into his cheeks, but he looked pained. He glanced at her, the smile falling from his lips.

"I didn't realize how much I loved her smile," he finished, meeting her eyes again and holding her gaze. Just when she took a breath to ask her burning question, he tore his eyes away, sighing.

"I'm so confused," he said, moving to press his forehead to the column separating them. Ladybug touched the pillar gently, wondering if what she was suspecting was right.

"Who is..." she started, not knowing whether she truly wanted to know the answer. She tensed against the weight of his silence, holding her breath in anticipation.

"I can't fall in love," he breathed out, almost in a whisper. Ladybug wondered if she'd hallucinated it, only able to hear her heartbeat pulsing in her ears as she replayed his words over and over again.

"I'm in love with you," Chat spoke, a clawed hand coming into view as he rested it on the column next to hers. Her eyes widened, a surprised swallow catching in her throat.

"I'm saying that to remind you and me," he sighed, sounding almost defeated. Her heart twinged, racing excitedly. She was about to place her hand over his, but he spoke again, stopping her.

"But Marinette..." she heard from behind the column. Her hand tensed against the stone of the pillar, making sure she wouldn't collapse where she stood.

All at once, everything made sense, and the overwhelming urge to release her transformation rushed through her system. But she felt herself hit that wall again, a million memories and harsh warnings replaying in her mind. She couldn't tell him.

"I just don't understand," Chat sighed, his voice wavering on the last word and nearly breaking her heart. How could she be thinking of rules and dumb traditions when her best friend's heart was being torn in two?

Ladybug took a deep breath, trying to ignore the exhilaration that must have been glittering in her eyes. She stepped around the column, drawing his eyes.

"Maybe I can help you understand," she said, her voice shaking but her smile growing wider by the second. She spoke the three words, barely able to hear them over the pounding of her heart.

Her transformation dissolved, leaving Chat's wide eyes to land on Marinette. As she watched a genuine smile light up his face, she felt the wall between them finally disappear. 

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welcome to ladynoir july 2020! thank you for all your support and love! 

i hope you enjoy this month's prompts, and stay safe! <3

mel x