Ladynoir July 2020

Day 22 - Realization

Ladybug watched the cars go through the roundabout absentmindedly, her senses more focused on listening. She hadn't been waiting long, but every second that passed felt like years.

Finally, she heard him coming, and she flipped around to see his figure growing closer and closer. A gentle warmth began spreading through her body to her fingertips, and the smile that appeared on her face was one she couldn't help.

"Chat Noir!" she called out, waving an eager arm. He made a final jump and landed a few feet away from her, flashing her a smile and taking a deep breath.

"Hey Ladybug," he said happily. A little bit of the warmth spreading inside her turned cold, but she kept smiling, trying to remind herself that he hadn't used nicknames for her in some time.

"I can't stay for too long, but I'm here!" he said enthusiastically, and more of the happiness inside her shifted into something duller.

"Oh, that's fine," she nodded, rubbing her arm and speaking up again quickly. "How's it going?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't question her about why she'd called him out when they hadn't scheduled a patrol that night.

She found herself wanting to be around Chat more and more often, and she couldn't really figure out why. After battles with akumas, she found herself milking every last second with him that she could before they both had to leave. That night in particular, she just wanted to see him and hear his voice.

"Oh, I'm great," he grinned, placing his baton on his back. She tilted her head, wishing that she wasn't guessing all the reasons for his smile.

"Good day?" she wondered, settling down on the edge of the roof and watching him as he sat down next to her. His smile hadn't faltered at all, and as he stared out at the city, his eyes only shone brighter.

"Yeah! I had a date with my girlfriend," he told her, and she tried to stop the pit from forming in her stomach. Adrien had gushed about going on a date with Kagami at school earlier that day too. She loved seeing that he was happy, but sometimes she just had to put it out of her mind. She began to feel something similar bubble up as she studied Chat's grin.

Her mind drifted back to Adrien, and then to Luka in Chat's silence. Even though she'd succeeded, in her mind, at getting over her past crush, it wasn't enough to start something with Luka. She could only feel guilt around him, and that wasn't fair.

And for some reason, all the boy trouble made her long to be around Chat even more. Being around him felt easy, or at least, it had. Every time she saw him, she felt her heart getting tighter, and she wanted to figure out why.

"That's great," she smiled lightly, watching him glance at her.

"Thanks," he replied, kicking his legs as they dangled off the roof. She watched him for a moment, and then let out a breath that had been building in her lungs.

"Wanna tell me about it?" she wondered, and he let out a small laugh, ducking his head.

"If you don't mind," he answered, and she waved a hand at him, urging him on. That only made him smile wider, but it wasn't for her.

Chat began to talk about his date, but she couldn't listen to the details. Simply hearing his voice made her heart feel fuzzy, so she focused on that, wondering if she couldn't decipher some of her jumbled thoughts.

Why did hearing about Chat's girlfriend not make her happy? She wanted to be happy for him, so why couldn't she be? She watched him as he talked, finding herself lost in the shimmer of his eyes. The lights of the city were reflected there, and he seemed so giddy that he was practically glowing.

Ladybug pushed his girlfriend from her mind, remembering that she'd been telling Tikki that things felt different between her and her partner. He hadn't been using nicknames for her anymore, and with his flirting all but gone, everything felt out of balance. Their dynamic as a team hadn't suffered too much. They both seemed to fall into a familiar rhythm with each other, but once the danger was gone, she felt a loss of warmth that made her frown every time.

She remembered that he'd said he couldn't stay long and resisted the urge to sigh, feeling a deep sadness in her chest. She had never realized how much she adored having him around, and sitting there with him then made her feel like she could have stayed there with him for hours.

"Ladybug?" he called, bringing her out of her thoughts. He was staring back at her, and she felt her cheeks light up a soft pink.

"Sorry, yeah?" she said, smiling a little. He smiled back, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I asked why you'd called me out here so suddenly," he repeated, tilting his head a little as he watched her. She blushed brighter, knowing that she couldn't tell him that she'd just wanted to be near him. Even though she was pretty sure that friends would say something like that, it still felt wrong to tell him, even if she couldn't figure out why.

"Uh, well," she started, scrambling for an answer that didn't betray her true feelings. "I guess I was just feeling down today," she told him, looking away briefly and biting the inside of her cheek.

"Ah," he nodded, lifting a leg to help himself stand. She glanced up at him, seeing that he was offering her a hand. She took it, and he pulled her up to meet him.

"I have magical hugs, you know," he told her, and she blinked at him, furrowing her eyebrows. "Want one?" She felt her heart skip a beat, but she knew that if she said no she would kick herself later. So she nodded, and he smiled.

Chat stepped closer, and she raised her arms a little, feeling his move under hers and wrap around her middle. She was lifted from the ground as he pulled her gently against him, holding her to his chest like it was the most important thing he could be doing.

Ladybug took a shaky breath in, having expected a short hug or something silly. But Chat seemed intent on holding her there, not saying a word. Her heart started to race, and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping he wouldn't be able to tell. But when she closed her eyes, her thoughts ran wild. Suddenly, all she could imagine was kissing him, and it made her even more panicked. Why was she thinking about Chat like that?

Oh. Oh.

All at once, she realized what was going on. 

She was in love with Chat Noir.

Her whole body seemed to light on fire, and she almost let a squeal burst from her lips. She was horrified that she hadn't realized sooner. Was she that blind?

Chat began to pull away just as she felt like screaming, meeting her with a warm smile that made her knees want to give out.

"See?" he asked, letting his hands fall from her and her feet return to the ground. She blinked at him with wide eyes, knowing that he was talking about his self-proclaimed magical hugs but still frazzled beyond belief.

She managed to nod, watching his smile widen proudly.

"Yeah, I see now."